


Losing You

by DawnsEternalLight



Series: The Bonds that Tie [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics), DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Brothers, Dami's having trouble dealing with it, Dick grayson has lost his memeory, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jason and Tim are trying to help, Memory Loss, and things are going to get interesting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 13:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7978480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnsEternalLight/pseuds/DawnsEternalLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What makes one a brother? Is it blood or time spent together? When Dick loses his memories of Damian the two must figure out how to relate to each other again while trying to find a way to return Dick's memories to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The pain in Damian’s head woke him. Despite the throbbing he cracked his eyes open, thankful that dim light was all that met him instead of the harsh glow of fluorescents or the sun. He blinked up at the night sky willing the building shapes to line up instead of darting all over the place, focus, he needed to focus.

“I think Robin’s coming around,” the words floated over to him on a breeze. Damian was sure whoever had spoken it was closer than he’d heard, but everything was still so fuzzy. He blinked a few times hoping that would clear things up.

His blinking only served to screw his vision up more, so he decided to sit up, pushing himself forward. Then there was a hand at his back, helping him, and his vision swam, he tilted and the hand stopped him from ending up on his face.

What had happened? His thoughts were as scrambled as his senses as he tried to piece together the night’s events. He’d been fighting alongside Grayson, Todd, and Drake. There had been a new villain, a meta if Damian remembered correctly. He had some kind of mind manipulation powers, which would explain the raging headache he had.

Mindbender, the name seemed to flip a switch in his brain. Everything came back to him then, they hadn’t been prepared to fight him, his abilities were all mentally based and he’d struck them all at once. He fed off memories, or more specifically the energy created by what he called ‘interesting memories’ whatever foolishness that was.

Damian wasn’t sure how they’d defeated him, or even if they had. The pain in his head had been so bad he’d passed out.

“Robin, can you hear me?” Damian looked over at two Red Hoods, he blinked and they morphed into one, “You ok, kiddo?”

Damian realized Jason was the one supporting him, “I’m fine,” he lied, and tried to push himself to his feet. The dizziness was twice as bad this time and he fell back onto the ground with a heavy thump, Jason just catching him in time again.

“Let’s try that again, how are you doing?”

Damian scowled, “It feels like a bomb was set off in my head.”

Jason nodded, “Wing seems to be having the same problem.”

“What about you and Red Robin?”

“Surprisingly unscathed, but you two did lead the charge.”

“And Mindbender?”

Damian couldn’t see it behind his helmet, but from the way Jason’s shoulders tensed he could tell his brother had some kind of frown or grimace, “Lost him.”

He nodded, “I expected as much. Has anyone contacted Batman?”

“Not yet, we’re still all trying to piece together what happened. What do you remember?”

 Damian frowned, “Very little. Just the initial attack.”

“That makes sense,” Jason said leaning back, he pulled his hand away from Damian, without the support it was harder to sit up, but Damian wasn’t going to let the headache win, “He went after you and Timmy pretty hard. Apparently he liked the,” Jason paused trying to find the right word, “Flavor of your memories or something like that.”

Damian scowled. “Ugh, that’s disgusting.”

Jason shrugged. “His words not mine. Wing did something after that, said something maybe? I don’t know I’m pretty fuzzy on the details myself.”

He tilted his head in Dick’s direction, and Damian looked over to find Tim and Dick speaking quietly, they were crouched much like Damian and Jason were, but there was something off about them. There was a tense line to their postures that shouldn’t be there. While Damian was watching them Dick turned his head and their eyes met. After a moment Dick frowned, but didn’t look away.

Damian’s heart skipped a beat, there was something _wrong_. Grayson didn’t look at him that way, he never looked at Damian with anything less than affection and familiarity. This look had been blank, confused even.

Damian stood, ignoring his head, and Todd who was saying something about taking it easy. Sheer force of will had Damian still on his feet and striding to where his other brothers were. He could sense Todd’s presence just behind him, ready to catch him if he fell a third time, but that wasn’t going to happen. Not with fear fueled adrenaline pushing him forward.

He looked down at Dick and his oldest brother blinked up at him. Being a few steps closer didn’t change the confusion or lack of recognition on Grayson’s face, in fact it almost made it worse. Damian could feel his heart give a funny little flip, the same feeling he got when he was nervous but instead of it being his stomach his heart was the one acting funny.

Dick went to open his mouth, but Tim put a hand on his shoulder stopping him, “Dick’s fine,” Tim said, as if Damian were supposed to believe it, as if Tim were trying to convince himself of it.

“No names in the field, RR,” the correction was automatic, and it worked to still some of the queasiness in Damian’s chest. Maybe he was overthinking things, Tood had said Grayson had a headache like Damian’s. That could explain the confusion well enough.

“Besides,” Dick frowned, “Does the kid even know my name?”

The question held no hesitation, no hint of joke, nothing that would tell Damian the words he’d just heard were false, and he felt his heart catch in his throat, this couldn’t be real. Grayson was simply still confused from the fight.

Jason scoffed, “Did you hit your head when you passed out? Robin knows exactly who you are.”

“I’m not kidding, I was just asking RR about him when you two walked over. What I can’t figure out is why B wouldn’t tell me he was training a new Robin. I’ve been back for a while.”

“You’re serious,” Jason breathed, “You don’t know him at all?” he motioned to Damian who stood frozen. He knew what his brother was going to say before he said it. He’d known it since they’d locked eyes and Grayson hadn’t smiled.

“I’ve never seen him before in my life.”

Damian had thought he’d known what it was like to have his heart torn from him. He’d literally been stabbed in the heart after all, but that pain was nothing compared to realizing that his oldest brother had completely forgotten him. Pain rushed him, starting at his heart and moving to encompass his chest in a tight unbelieving grip. 

His shaky hold on his balance gave way and his knees buckled, shock rendering them unable to hold his weight any longer. This time Jason wasn’t the one to grab him, Dick did. Instinct caused the older man to reach out and catch him under the arms, helping him to sit down.

Damian wanted to fall forward into his oldest brother’s chest and pretend the last hour had been a dream, but the awkward, unfamiliar way Grayson held him stopped him. Instead he jerked backwards, stumbling to catch himself before sitting back away from Dick.

His breathing was rapid, as if he’d just been hit with a dose of fear toxin, and he couldn’t stop searching Dick’s face. Hoping he’d fine a glimmer of recognition. His heart breaking a little more every time it wasn’t there.

“I think we need to take this back to the cave. Figure things out there,” Tim was always the voice of reason, his clear plan worked to ease the panic that Damian felt rising in his chest, “It’s possible this is a form of temporary amnesia caused during the fight.”

Dick nodded slowly, “I agree. Let’s head back and figure things out from there.”

Even Grayson had admitted this was temporary, something about that helped Damian to steady himself. He would not panic, not when they didn’t know the scope of things, he was stronger than that. He was Damian Wayne, and Dick Grayson losing his memory would not break him, at least not now.

* * *

 

On their way back to the cave Tim had done his best to catch Dick up on the youngest Robin’s identity and to say he was surprised was an understatement. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to lose years’ worth of memories for one person in the span of what had to have been half an hour at most.

Why was it only Robin he’d forgotten? Why not Tim and Jason too? Or Bruce and Alfred? He knew he wasn’t missing anyone else because the next thing Tim had done was quiz him on everyone else in his life.

The kid -Damian- hadn’t said a word, not on the way to the cave or after they’d arrived. Tim had gone straight to the computer while Jason had led Damian on one of the gurneys intent on making sure he wasn’t hurt. He’d called Dick over after a minute to check on him as well.

He couldn’t say why he was reluctant to move towards the two of them, but he knew it had to do with Damian. They were supposed to know each other, have worked together, and here Dick was barely able to remember the kid’s name.

He wasn’t sure what to make of Damian. He'd barely spared him a glance since they’d set off, and Dick didn’t blame him. He’d seen the look of betrayal in his eyes when he’d admitted he’d never seen him before, from that alone Dick knew they were supposed to be close and the simple act of him forgetting Damian was a huge blow- no matter the reasons.

When he reached the medical area Jason motioned Dick to join Damian on the gurney. The moment he was on the bed the kid scooted to the far edge, Dick couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt over the urgency with which his youngest brother had moved.

“Alright let’s take a look at that noggin of yours Dicky,” Jason grinned flashing a light in Dick’s face.

He swatted at it and rolled his eyes, “First, what does a flashlight have to do with my memories? Second I’m not sure you’re qualified for this.”

“I’m checking for a concussion,” Jason moved the light back towards Dick’s face and this time he let him check him out, “I think I’m qualified at least for that. Timmers is calling someone else to look at your head.”

Dick grinned at him, “No jokes about my needing my head checked by a specialist villain or no?”

Jason glanced at Damian, “It’s not much of a joking matter right now.”

Dick felt another pang of guilt at that and peeked over his shoulder at his brother. Brother, that was such an odd word for him to use for the boy. He _knew_ it should be natural, but it wasn’t. Damian caught him looking and glared before hoping off the bed and moving towards Tim.

“Why is he mad at me?”

Jason shrugged, setting the flashlight aside, “It’s not you, it’s the situation. Or at least I hope it is,” Jason stepped back and crossed his arms, “You would have known, you knew, _know_ , him better than any of us. That’s the problem with this whole thing, no one else can calm him like you can. But let’s not worry about it now, we’ll wait to see what J’onn has to say.”

Dick slipped off the bed and frowned at Jason, “J'onn? Isn’t calling him a little overkill? I mean, I’m sure this is just temporary.”

Jason sighed, “We don’t know that. We also don’t know the extent to which Mindbender messed with all our heads, no one has a clear memory of tonight.”

* * *

 

Damian could feel the relief flood the cave when at last his father and the Martian came down the elevator. He knew most of the tension of the past half hour was his fault, but he couldn’t help it. He was on edge, Grayson might have lost all memory of him forever. He wasn’t sure how to even begin dealing with that, so he’d ignored it. Ignored Grayson, and Todd, and Drake. Even Pennyworth who’d only been trying to help. He just didn’t want it right now, couldn’t accept it. Not yet.

He wanted to run to his father, fling himself into the only familiar arms he had left, but he didn’t. He didn’t show weakness like that on a good day in front of his brothers, there was no way it was happening tonight. Not with a stranger in the room.

Stranger, the word felt so wrong when placed with Grayson, but that’s exactly who his brother had become, and who he’d become to his brother. He swallowed back the lump at his throat for what felt like the hundredth time that evening.

J’onn wasted no time in starting his examination of the boys. Damian knew he could have checked them all at once, but he worked on them individually starting with Jason and Tim.

When Damian’s turn came he took and involuntary step back, “No, look at Grayson first.” he was too conflicted, his emotions weren’t under the tight lid he usually kept them under and he was embarrassed to be in that state with J’onn there. He wouldn’t make the Martian deal with more than he had to, if all went well and Grayson’s diagnosis was that this was temporary then Damian would be fine to let J’onn look at him, if not- well Damian was sure he wouldn’t care at that point.

The Martian nodded at him, a sad smile on his face that told Damian he’d already sensed most of what the kid was feeling and turned to Dick. Damian’s embarrassment was quickly brushed aside as he turned his attention to his oldest brother.

Dick seated himself on a chair while J’onn closed his eyes. There were a few moments of silence before, “The good news is that his memories are not gone.”

“And the bad?” It was the first Bruce had spoken all night.

J’onn tilted his head and regarded the room, “His memories of the boy are unreachable, even by me.”

Damian’s carefully crafted calm cracked and he gasped. “What do you mean?”

The Martian turned his attention fully to Damian and again he wanted to take a step back. There it was again, that sad smile. It wasn't piteous but it made Damian want to lash out all the same. He did not need to be pitied, what he needed was for Grayson to remember him.

“There is something suppressing his memories of you, a block if you will. It was put there by the meta you battled tonight.”

“And you can’t remove it because?” Jason asked.

J’onn turned back to Dick, “Because it was allowed to be placed there by Dick himself,” he continued before anyone could react, “I’ve pieced together most of what happened tonight from the memories your Mindbender tried to muddle. It seems he was trying to protect the three of you by offering himself.”

It was that addition that finally broke the wall Damian had built. All at once he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he was angry, no _desperate_. He threw himself at Dick from across the room, so fast none of his family had time to stop him. He landed on his brother’s lap, his fists pounding his chest in a feeble imitation of blows, his panic having stripped them of their strength.

“How could you?! How could you Grayson!” the words tore themselves from his throat catching on the angry hot tears flowing down his face.

He expected his father to pull him away, or for the Martian to try and calm him down. Instead Dick’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer to his chest, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry." he said, tears cracking his voice.

How he wanted to let that hug melt away all the pain in his chest, but he couldn’t because as familiar and welcome as it was it was missing something. That extra tug Dick always gave Damian, the one that said ‘I know you don’t like hugs but this one’s from me’. This was an instinctive Dick hug, but it wasn’t for Damian, it was for a _child_.

Damian tore away from him, stumbling backwards, off his lap and off the chair, catching himself just in time before falling “No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to treat me like some scared kid. You would know better if you hadn’t traded me away.”  

Dick flinched at his words and went to stand, but someone behind Damian must have stopped him, because he sat back down, “Damian, enough.” It was his father. Another wave of shame washed over him, he’d lost himself in front of everyone.

“Sorry, Father,” he turned away from Dick without looking at him again. He wiped his face and walked over to stand by Jason who made no move to comfort him, and for that at least Damian was grateful.

“I know how this all must sound, but you must know, all of you, that Dick did what he felt was best. And as I said earlier, the memories are still there,” J’onn didn’t seem fazed by Damian’s outburst, but Damian realized he’d probably seen it coming more so than even Damian had himself, “Time is what’s needed, time that is mostly spent with you Damian. There will be something that you do or say that should act as a trigger to the memories, there always is. It only needs to be found.”

Damian didn’t want to spend time with a Grayson who didn’t know him, call him selfish for it, or a child, he didn’t care at this point. He wanted Grayson back. He wanted his brother who knew him, who knew just what to say to stop the panic he couldn’t seem to get a handle on, who would never look at him with _pity_. His breaths were coming shorter now, and somewhere at the back of his mind Damian realized he was having a panic attack, or at least the beginnings of one.

He couldn’t catch his breath, but he couldn’t break down. Not here, not after he’d just had an outburst. He tried to still his breathing, his family was talking around him, J’onn explaining further details of the situation. Who knew how long it would be before something triggered his brother’s memories? Damian wasn’t sure he could stand a day of this. What if it took a month? A year? Longer even?

His attempts to gain control over his breathing weren’t working and Damian didn’t know what to do. Everything was spiraling out of his control and he didn’t have anywhere to go. Grayson couldn’t help him now, not when he was the cause of this.

Jason seemed to realize something was wrong, because the next moment Damian found himself scooped up and into arms that held him tight. Not Grayson tight, but tight like they were trying to hold his world together. Damian should have fought it, should have insisted he could stand on his own, but he was sure if Jason put him down his world really would fall apart.  


	2. Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason tries to help Damian work through his panic and immediate fears.

Jason Todd couldn’t list all the dangerous things he’d done in his life, but picking up a panicking Damian Wayne had to be somewhere close to the top. He’d done it on instinct, unable to stand there and just let Damian try to take everything on his own shoulders _again_.

To say Jason was shocked when his kid brother wrapped his arms around his torso and buried his head in the crook of his neck was an understatement. Damian didn’t let people pick him up and Damian didn’t hug them back, _ever_. Dick sure, Bruce sometimes, but Jason? Any other day would have had the kid socking him for the mere thought.

Jason could feel the rapid, shallow breaths his little brother was struggling to control, his heart beating a million beats a second, and he tightened his grip. He had no idea what to say. Soothing words were Dick’s department, death jokes were Jason’s, and somehow he didn’t think those would help right now.

He looked over at Dick, the man looked like he wanted to pull Damian from Jason’s arms and fix the whole situation, but they both knew that wasn’t possible, not right now at least. The knowledge passed unspoken between them before Dick nodded and turned to J’onn and Bruce, their tones quiet so Damian couldn’t overhear.

Jason decided to take Damian upstairs, maybe get him some hot cocoa. The drink had always had helped Jason when he was Robin. Some nights were just too much and Alfred could always calm him down with a steaming mug of chocolate.

Besides, staying down in the cave wasn’t going to help anyone, Bruce would want to talk with J’onn and Dick for a while yet and Jason didn’t think Damian needed to be there. They could catch him up later, after he’d had some time to process. 

He started for the stairs, preparing himself for an argument from Damian. The kid would want to be here, right? To stick around to learn every detail he could? Jason started to worry when none came by the time he was halfway up the stairs.

He let out a sigh when Damian began to stir as they entered the manor proper, “Where’re we going?” he mumbled.

“I thought some hot cocoa might be a good idea. Unless you want to go to bed?”

He felt more than saw Damian shake his head, “Cocoa’s fine.”

Jason wasn’t sure which was worse, the panic that had seemed to fade at this point, or the defeated tone Damian had answered with. Either shouldn’t be a factor. This whole mess should have never happened. If they’d had a little more intel going in, or if they’d just been a little more careful then maybe the fight with Mindbender would have gone differently.

Wishing to fix the past never helped, Jason had learned that long ago. His best option was to take care of Damian then hunt down Mindbender himself. Force the idiot to fix Dick’s memories and then make him pay for putting them –Damian- through this.

He wasn’t super close with the kid, but that didn’t mean he’d ever wish this on him. He didn’t know how he’d react if Roy or Kori just forgot him. There’d be a lot more swearing, but after that? He just didn’t know, no one did until they were faced with it.

When he reached the kitchen, Jason managed a grin. It seemed that Alfred had the same idea as he had. The butler presented them with two hot mugs as Jason set Damian down on one of the kitchen’s barstools.

He took the seat next to Damian and tugged his mug close to him, breathing in steam and chocolate, “Alfie, you are a lifesaver.”

“I had a feeling it would be needed,” Alfred gave them a small smile, “If you two need anything else, just call.” He hefted a tray of sandwiches and tea before leaving the kitchen.

As Jason watched him go he let the heat from the cup seep into his palms. He looked over at Damian, who seemed to be mirroring him, hands wrapped around the mug like he was holding on for life, “You gonna look at that or drink it?”

His head jerked up, gaze going from the brown liquid to Jason, “I…yeah,” he nodded and took a sip, it was so tiny Jason was willing to bet he’d barely tasted the stuff.

Jason took a sip of his own and savored the creamy chocolate, just like he remembered it and the feeling of the cocoa warming him up, it was as if that one sip could melt away everything bad that happened no matter what it was.

“It’s going to be ok, you know.”

Damian took another sip, longer this time, nodding into his cup. Jason leaned back, tapping a finger on the mug in his hands, “Knowing him, Dick’ll remember soon enough. He’s too stubborn to forget for long.” 

Damian shrugged, “Maybe.”

“Not maybe, totally. He loves you too much.”

“He doesn’t even know me,” he said it into his cup, the coco rippling with the words.

Jason leaned over in an attempt to look his little brother in the eyes, “He’ll get to know you again.”

Damian seemed to curl in on himself then, pulling the mug closer to him as he slouched, “I don’t know if he wants to.”

He’d never heard his kid brother sound so uncertain, Damian was confident to a fault, and here he was doubting Dick, of all people. Jason realized with a start that his kid brother was wallowing, he was letting his doubts get the best of him.

Jason’s mug hit the counter with a resounding clink, and slight splash, “If you think that any part of Dick doesn’t want to know you then you don’t know him nearly as well as you think you do. That man loves you more than anything, having his memories repressed doesn’t change that fact.”

If his words shocked Damian, the kid didn’t show it. He nodded, sipping on his coco as he considered Jason’s words. For a moment Jason thought he’d gotten through to the kid, planted a little hope in what had to be one of the worst days of Damian’s life (he didn’t say worst because there had been that whole dying thing, and then coming back to find out that Dick was ‘dead’)

“Todd?”

“Yeah?”

“What if he doesn’t like me?”

Damian was still staring into his cup, but this time the drink rippled with the tears Damian was trying to hold back. One plinked in then two and the stopped before a third dropped.

That was it. Jason was going to kill Mindbender. Kill him for putting even the tiniest of doubts in Damian’s head at Dick’s love. That’s not even saying how Dick was going to feel about all this when he did remember. Jason didn’t even want to think about the guilt trips Dick would take himself on over this mess.

“Damian, I promise there is no way Dick won’t like you. In fact, I’m pretty sure he already does.”

Damian sat there straight and unmoving, well almost, he was hiccupping, a sure sign he was holding back tears, “I don’t see how. I’ve shown nothing but weakness tonight.”

“Look, no one’s going to judge you for anything that happened tonight, least of all Dick.” Jason was struck by how young Damian was.

He was still a kid after all, and no matter how he was raised or how grown up he liked to think he was, Damian was still only a child. He could act like it every once in a while, even if he thought he couldn’t.

He hiccupped again, “Of course they are, I should have been able to handle myself better. No one else broke down, no one else had to leave the—” his voice cracked with tears, “cave. I’m supposed to be the best, Todd. I shouldn’t have- I can’t- I—”

Ignoring the fact that they were on stools and he might knock one of them over, Jason yanked his little brother over to him, and for the second time in one night Damian let Jason hug him, “Don’t be stupid, Damian. If anyone has the right to freak out tonight, it’s you. Now come on, what you need is some sleep. Everything will look better in the morning.”

He slipped off the stool, and Damian followed him all the way to his room. Jason didn’t even consider just leaving Damian there, instead he instructed Damian to get changed while he worked on Damian’s bed, pulling out the comforter and fluffing the pillows. He even found Titus and directed him to the bed. The dog gave him a quizzical head tilt until Damian returned clothed in his pajamas.

As soon as the kid was in his bed, Titus followed him up and Jason was satisfied that Damian would be able to sleep if not soundly, at least safely, with the dog there.

He tucked Damian in with a, “Sleep tight, Tater tot. Things will be better tomorrow.”

* * *

 

Jason found Tim alone in the cave, seated at the computer, typing furiously at whatever he was working on.

He stopped beside him, leaning on the desk, “I hope your tracking down leads on Mindbender, because I swear—”

His brother didn’t look away from the screen, “I am. And I know. He’ll pay, no one screws with our family.”

“Good, because I want to nail this guy fast.”

Tim stopped working and spun his chair around, “Me too, but- we have to be careful with this Jay. We’ve got to plan for his attacks, figure out some way to keep him from taking us out in the first minute of the fight.”

Jason grinned at him, “I had kind of hoped you’d already figured that much out.”

Tim shrugged, “It’s a work in progress. How’s Damian?”

“Sleeping. How’s Dick?”

“Upset, and frustrated. I hope Damian’s a little more receptive tomorrow. They’ll get nowhere if they can’t be around each other.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“I know,” Tim sighed, “I can’t imagine how I’d feel in Damian’s shoes. I’d probably be just as upset.”  

“What I can’t figure out is why it was just Damian? Why not all of us, or someone else?”

Tim leaned back, crossing his arms, “J’onn said it was probably because of how prominent Damian was in Dick’s thoughts. Knowing Dick it makes sense, he would have been pretty worried about him at that point.”

Jason moved to look at the screen again, “Whatever the reason is right now it’s not important. What is, is finding Mindbender. You think we can get him tomorrow?”

Tim followed Jason’s lead, turning his chair again, “Even if I could, we couldn’t do it tomorrow. Not if you didn’t want Damian there.”

Jason looked over at his brother, “What?”

“B’s benching Dick for the rest of the week and he wants Damian patrolling with someone every night until D’s back. He thinks it’ll be better for Dami that way, keep him in line and give him someone familiar to be around for support,” Tim rolled his eyes at the last part, “As if he’d really ask for help anyway.”

Jason hummed, “You’d be surprised. Are you on babysitting duty tomorrow then?”

“Yep, you’ve got the day after.”

“So we’ve got a few days to track him down, that’s good. It’ll give us time to convince Damian not to go running after Mindbender on his own.”

“Good luck with that,” Tim said, “I’m surprised he hasn’t already bolted.”

Jason shrugged, “He had a lot to take in tonight.”

Tim grinned at him, “Look at you, turning into a proper big brother, you’d better watch yourself Jay, your aesthetic is at risk.”

“Just find Mindbender, I’ll show you how ‘at risk’ my aesthetic is then.”


	3. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian and Dick try to reconnect and bond through a 'normal' day, but some things are more difficult than they seem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me longer than I'd hoped it would because of school heating up. I feel like I've gotten into the swing of things and hopefully I'll have the next chapter out in a more timely manner. Anyway enjoy!

There was a strange sort of peace that hung over the manor on mornings like this. It could be called the quiet in the storm, but Damian preferred to think of it as space. Space for him to compose himself and to decide on how to proceed from here. 

He poured a cup of orange juice and took a seat on one of the kitchen stools, his hands wrapping around the cool glass as he began to process the previous night’s events. By the time Grayson sat down on the kitchen barstool beside him Damian had decided his course of action.

Dick’s arrival was no surprise to him, neither was the wary aura he was giving off. After last night there was little chance of Grayson being able to sleep, let alone sleep in, and Damian knew his own reaction the night before was the cause of his brother’s cautious gaze.

As a sign of peace, he slid him the still hot cup of coffee he’d prepared. Dick took it as he sat next to Damian and sipped. There was a flash of surprise on his face before he composed himself, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the counter while he held his mug.

He felt a flicker of pain at that look. Dick hadn’t been surprised by Damian knowing the way he took his coffee since their first week together. Part of him had been hoping his brother’s memory would come back overnight, or that it had all been a bad dream. Grayson’s reaction shot down that hope.

“I’m not going to introduce myself to you. Neither am I going to give you a refresher on my history, if you want that ask someone else,” Damian said.

He’d decided that telling Grayson about him would get them nowhere. J’onn had said the memories needed to be triggered, triggering didn’t happen with summery it happened with action. Damian didn’t want his brother trying to force him back into his memory, instead he wanted it to happen naturally.

Dick nodded, “You sure?” he asked, “You wouldn’t be able to defend yourself if they said something negative. Tim already called you Demon Spawn, whatever that means.”

The words ‘I trust you’ hovered on his lips in response. Three simple words that wouldn’t come. Not because he didn’t want to say them, but because they shouldn’t be said. Trust wasn’t words. It was having each other’s backs on patrol, a mischievous glance between them at dinner, or the safe comfort of no questions when Grayson let Damian crawl into bed next to him after a nightmare.

“You’ve never let the opinions of others form your own before,” Damian said.

At the words his worry from last night bubbled back up to the surface. Worry and guilt. He should trust Grayson. Grayson didn’t change. Then again, he did like to make his own decisions about people, so what if this time he decided Damian wasn’t worth it? That Damian didn’t belong?

That worry evaporated as Grayson smiled at him and said, “You’ve got me there. I do make my own decisions about people and I already know there’s something special about you.”

Heat rushed Damian’s cheeks prompting him to bury his embarrassment behind a swig of his orange juice. How was it that his brother somehow still knew just what to say to Damian, even when he didn’t remember him?

If Dick noticed his discomfort he didn’t comment instead he leaned back and said, “I was thinking. I’ve got this thing to in the morning, but after I’m done I’m free. Maybe we could catch a movie or get sundaes?”

The warmth from Grayson’s reassurance went cold and Damian shook his head, “Not after.”

Dick set his cup down on the counter and spun his stool to face his little brother head on, “Damian, we have to spend time together.”

“I understand that. However, I refuse to let you make special allowances for me. Besides,” Damian looked away from him, “your plans for this morning already included me.”

He hated having to remind Dick of the plans. The words burned in his throat, hot and tight like tears but he knew they couldn’t be. He’d already barred himself from crying. It hadn’t helped last night and it would do little good moving forward. Everything needed to proceed as if nothing had happened, if they did things like they normally would then the chances were higher of something triggering in Grayson’s mind.

“Oh,” Dick gulped, “Sorry, I forgot.”

Damian shrugged, “Its fine,” he said and they both knew he was lying. Damian could see it in Grayson’s eyes, the doubt of his words. He plowed forward to minimize any pity or pressing from Grayson.

“I want things to stay the same between us, no plan changing or long sit downs for heart to hearts. I believe normalcy is the best way to trigger you’re memories,” Damian said, tapping the edge of his glass with a finger.

“That being said, if you want to run your errands on your own this morning and postpone our outing until later I don’t mind. I won’t hold you to today’s plans.”

Dick shook his head, “No, you’re right. The best way for me to remember is for us to be natural around each other. Spending today the way we’d planned it will be a step towards that.”

* * *

 

Hours and four stops later Dick found himself standing in line at the post office and wondering if he should have taken Damian up on his offer to put off their ‘bonding time’. The day had started off ok, but gradually Damian had fallen into a mood. He hadn’t said the reason, but Dick could guess. He was sure that over the course of their day he’d said and done a hundred things ‘out of character’ or against how he ‘normally’ acted.

Damian tried to hide it, but he’d flinched every time it happened. The flinch was tiny, almost imperceptible, and Damian probably didn’t even know he was doing it, but Dick noticed. He’d stopped apologizing for it the third time Damian had simply ignored the apology.

He glanced down at his younger brother who stood with his hood tugged over his head, eye’s looking through the crowd in front of them, and earbuds in his ears as shields against conversation. His whole stance was defensive, a wall built to protect himself from whatever Dick was going to say next. He needn’t have bothered; Dick had decided to stop trying for the day. The moment they were back at the manor he was going to sit down with Bruce or Alfred or anyone and have a long talk about Damian, he had to know more so he didn’t repeat his mistakes from today.

His decision dropped them into an awkward silence. The kind that Dick remembered happening when he’d fight with his mother while they were at the grocery store. Where two people are forced to be together and act like normal all while feeing terrible inside.

He let the silence linger until he’d finished with the clerk and they were back outside. A mild breeze tickled Dick’s hair softening the sun’s warm rays. It was the kind of day that tempted people to linger outside and invited relaxation, where two brothers could relax around each other and maybe grow a little closer.

Something made Dick reach out and pluck the black helmet Damian had been reaching for from the back of his bike, causing the boy to spin on him, hood falling backwards off of his head, “Hold up there, Little D.”

Whatever Damian had been about to say he didn’t. His eyes went wide at the nickname and there was that flinch again. “Don’t call me that,” he said.

Dick frowned, “Tim said you liked that nickname.”

Damian crossed his arms and huffed, “He would tell you that one.”

When Dick had realized that things weren’t working the way he’d hoped they would he’d started texting Tim, as the brother closest in age to Damian Dick thought he might have had a better idea of how to relate to the kid. Tim had sent him a page of laughing emoticons at that statement. Then as if feeling pity for Dick he forwarded a list of ‘emergency nicknames and foods to calm or cheer Damian’ ironically created by Dick himself.

“So, you don’t like it?” Dick asked.

“Tt, it’s my favorite.”

“Then why are you upset?” He couldn’t help himself, he had to ask. He’d respected Damian’s desire to ‘keep things normal’ all day and not ask prying questions, but he had to know. He couldn’t keep accidentally hurting the kid. That wasn’t why he’d given up his memories. He’d wanted to protect Damian not turn every word into a knife.

There was a storm behind Damian’s eyes, anger and hurt glassed over their bright green, reddening the edges, even so he held his chin high, “It’s not important. What is, is that you’re not allowed to use that nickname.”

Before Dick had time to respond, Damian snatched the helmet from him and yanked it down on top of his head, obscuring Dick’s view of his face, “Now can we go home?”

* * *

 

The silence between them this time felt like steel and Dick wracked his brain for how to break it as he drove back to the manor. Damian sat behind him, his grip on his chest so light it could have been nonexistent despite the safety hazard.

Damian was off the bike almost before Dick stopped it, the helmet being tossed behind him as he stalked forward. Dick caught it with one hand as he chased after his brother.

“Damian, wait!” he managed to grab a hold of his brother’s shoulder, dropping the helmet in the process. The boy jerked away and turned on him.

“What?”

“I wanted to apologize. For today,” Dick rubbed the back of his head, “I did a lot of things wrong, said a lot of wrong things. I for—”

“You forgot. Yes, I know.” Damian’s tone was clipped, impatient.

Dick felt a rush of desperation, what was he supposed to do? To say? Nothing was working. “What do you want me to say, Damian? That I remember?”

“No,” Damian said his voice shaking, Dick noticed that his hands were shaking too, balled into tiny fists at his sides.

“No?” Dick blinked, his heart skipping a beat. He hadn’t expected that. The answer should have been yes, at bare minimum a demand for him to remember that instant at most, not no.

“I don’t want you to remember. I want you to have never forgotten.” The shaking in Damian’s fists had infected his shoulders, more than that it was as if his whole being was quaking in tiny restrained tremors.

Dick’s mind was racing, he didn’t understand, couldn’t understand this child before him. The child who he was supposed to know better even than his own father knew him. Yet here he stood, blanking for the right words, for any words that would help.

“That’s not possible, you know that.”

Damian’s breath hitched, “I can’t go a moment without knowing it,” one of his fists loosened and he reached for Dick, taking a step forward to close the distance between them, before taking part of Dick’s shirt in a trembling grip.

“Remember me? Please?” Damian’s head was bowed and his voice cracked with the question.

Dick felt his throat close up, like his heart had jumped into it. All he wanted to do was grant his brother’s wish, but he didn’t know how. He knelt down and cupped Damian’s chin, tilting his head back up so they could look at each other.

“I’m trying,” he said hoping it was enough.  

“Try harder.” It wasn’t a plea, it was a quiet, desperate demand.

Dick pressed his forehead against Damian’s and closed his eyes, “I will. I’ll try as hard as I can. I promise.”

They stood there and for the first time that day the silence between them was comfortable, or at least Dick thought so. After a minute Damian stepped back, releasing Dick’s shirt before taking in a deep breath.

“I need to go get ready for patrol.” He said before turning on his heel and darting into the manor.

Dick let him go, he wouldn’t push Damian any further today. It wasn’t until the clouds pulled away from the sun and he had to shield his eyes that he the facts caught up with him, it was still the middle of the day. If anything Damian needed to be trying to sleep before patrol, not fighting or warming up, or whatever he was planning to do down in the cave.

“Damian! Wait.” Dick didn’t know why he said the words, Damian was long gone. Dick snatched back up the motorcycle helmet and rushed into the manor after his little brother.


	4. Gassed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian catches Tim doing Mindbender research and realizes that he plans to leave him out of the hunt.

Tim’s phone buzzed. The sound, as small as it was, broke Tim’s train of thought. He glared down at the device before scooping it up. Fourteen missed calls from Valerie, ten text messages from various Wayne Enterprise employees, and more e-mails then he cared to look at. He’d hoped they could get by without him for one day, apparently he’d hoped wrong.

The only person from W.E. who hadn’t messaged him was Bruce, having been the one to suggest Tim take the day off. The stacks of dirty coffee mugs and almost empty coffee pot scattered around the cave spoke to the fact that Tim hadn’t needed Bruce’s prompting to take off work.

He’d thrown himself into the search for Mindbender the night before, working through the early morning with Jason, then continuing after Jay had left to sleep. Alfred had mandated a nap sometime around noon. Now he was back, recharged and full of ideas.

He glanced at the Batcave’s monitor, the screen was filled with newspaper headlines pertaining to Mindbender from his most recent attack to the first rumors of him. He’d spent a good deal of time trying to search for a weakness that Mindbender might have shown during a previous encounter to no avail, but that didn’t matter anymore.

He’d figured out a way to if not nullify the villain’s powers, scramble them enough to give them a chance to catch him. He swiveled the chair to check on his experiment, the gas in the flask was settling into an unnatural purple color. Tim frowned at it, the color was off. He reached forward to adjust the settings on the machine and snatched his hand back as another sound interrupted his train of thoughts.

“Drake?”

Crap.

He spun to find his little brother frowning at him. It was the middle of the day; he was supposed to be with Dick not stalking down to the cave at exactly the wrong time. Damian didn’t need to be here, not now. Not while he was working on the Mindbender case.

“Damian. What are you doing here? I thought you and Dick were spending the day together?” Tim asked.

Damian’s frown deepened, “We separated early,” the frown turned into a scowl, “In fact, part of it was your fault.”

Tim raised an eyebrow at him. His fault? He’d spent most of the day in the cave, when had he had time to mess things up between his brothers?

He opened his mouth to ask why and then noticed the redness in Damian’s eyes, it was the only thing off about his otherwise put together appearance and told Tim everything he needed to know about the outing with Dick.

He wanted to say something to make things better, but he was at a loss for words. The best help he could give either of them was to find Mindbender and make him fix things. To do that he needed to get Damian out of the cave so he could work without the Bat brat breathing down his neck and insisting on accompanying Tim and Jason when they did decide to go.

“The list?” he guessed.

His brother crossed his arms, and adjusted his stance to a wider, more defensive one, “Tt, I don’t care about some stupid list; why did you tell him to call me Little D?”

Double crap.

“I didn’t.”

“There is no one else he would have heard it from.”

Tim hadn’t told Dick to call Damian by the name. He’d been giving Dick some advice over text, lists of nicknames, places to go, food, all things that Dick himself had told Tim about. It didn’t surprise Tim that Dick had chosen that nickname for Damian, it was a favorite between the two. Memories or not Dick was still Dick and probably would have come up with the nickname on his own if given enough time. 

“I’m sorry I sent that to him, even so you’ll have to get used to things like that while we’re waiting for Dick to remember you.” Tim said.

Damian grit his teeth, “I know that, I’ve dealt with it all day. That nickname, however is off limits. You should know that.”

“Dami—” Tim was saved from answering as the computer began beeping drawing both Tim and Damian’s gazes. It had found another article with information on Mindbender. 

Damian’s eyes narrowed at it. “Drake, what is this?” he asked stalking towards the monitor.

He grabbed hold of the mouse before Tim could even think to move it, and started clicking through the articles, eye’s narrowing further. A fight plan Tim had been sketching out flashed on the screen before Tim clicked off the monitor manually.

Damian let Tim take the mouse from him, his eyes still locked on the now black screen. “You and Todd are going after him without me.” He said, his voice quiet.

A dangerous stillness had fallen over him as he said the words tight jawed, hands clenched on the tabletop. In that moment Damian looked exactly like Bruce did when Tim got caught doing something exceptionally stupid and dangerous and Tim found himself at a loss for what to do.

 “You’re too close to this,” the words slipped out unbidden and Tim knew they were the last thing he should have said.

Damian didn’t lash out or yell and Tim wished he would. A quiet Damian was a dangerous Damian. A long moment passed before he stepped back, away from the computer and glanced at the vial Tim had processing next to him.

“Is this your plan to stop him? What is it some kind of sleeping gas?”

Tim jumped out of his chair as Damian stalked towards the vial, “Don’t touch it, it’s not ready yet.” He said yanking Damian back by an arm.

Damian jerked out of Tim’s hold and turned to glare at him, “I’m coming with you two.”

“No.”

“I’ll go on my own then, you can’t stop me,” Damian said, and made to push past Tim but the older boy held a hand out to stop him.

“I can’t let you do that. Do you know what Dick would do to me if you got hurt going after Mindbender?” he said.

This stopped Damian cold, “Nothing,” he said, “Because Grayson doesn’t know me well enough to be furious over something like that.”

Tim didn’t understand. How could Damian honestly believe Dick wouldn’t be mad over something like that? That Dick wouldn’t be the same kind of brother now he always was?

“You’re wrong, no matter how you’re feeling Dick is still your brother, he still cares about you,” Tim said.

“He’s not mine, not right now. But I will get him back, and you can’t stop me, Drake.”

“Damian,” Tim put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, not to stop him but for comfort, “Of course he’s yours, you don’t need to get him back. Just trust him, his memories will return soon enough. Until then, I’m asking you to stay out of this.”

“I’m going to take care of this, if you insist on standing in my way I will make you move.”

“I told you—” Damian’s fist flying at him stopped his argument.

Instinct saved him from the blow. He grabbed Damian’s hand and flipped the boy, realizing at the last second that he’d sent his little brother into the vial of gas behind him.

The table toppled over and the jar shattered on Damian’s impact with it. Tim threw a hand over his mouth and nose to protect him from the gas as he leapt back away from it.

“Hold your breath!” he called knowing the warning had come too late. Damian lay gasping in the remnants of Tim’s experiment.

For what it was worth Damian clamped his mouth shout at Tim’s shout and covered his face. Tim darted back over, careful to hold his breath and flipped a switch turning on a vent above the area before lifting Damian from the mess and pulling him far enough away from any lingering traces of the gas.

“Drake—” Damian coughed, “What was in that vial?”

Tim’s heart was racing, this was bad. Very, very bad, “Experimental fear gas,” he answered helping Damian sit down, “Stay here, don’t move. I’ve got to go grab the antidote.”

* * *

 

Something crashed below him and Dick sped his descent, taking the steps down to the cave two at a time. He didn’t know who Damian would be fighting with down there, or if it was even a fight, but something told him to hurry.

The air was filled with the rattling hum of a vent as Dick hopped down the last two steps to take in the scene before him. He spotted someone darting into the supply room from the corner of his eye before noticing the worktable by the computer was toppled over. Its contents lay broken on the floor, the vent in question hung above it shaking as it worked to clear the air of whatever had been there. Damian sat a few feet away, eyes wide and shaking. He was looking down at his hands and kept turning them over.

He was by his brother’s side in an instant, kneeling down to look at the boy, “Damian, I heard a crash, what happened? Are you ok?” He reached a hand out to tilt his brother’s face up towards him but found his hand smacked out of the way.

“Stay away!” Damian scrambled back away from him, and Dick could finally see his face. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated almost to black. It looked like he’d been drugged, by what he couldn’t tell.

“Damian, what happened? If you tell me I can try to help.” Dick said keeping his voice soft, gentle, whatever had hit Damian was making him erratic, his breaths were coming in fast and short almost like they had the night before when he’d been panicking.

“You can’t help me. You’re the reason for all this,” Damian spat and glared at him, “I already had to deal with you today, and here you are again, haunting me. Just leave me alone!”

Dick jerked back at his words, but didn’t relent, “Dami, please just tell me what happened.”

“You,” he said and reached forward to take hold of Dick’s shoulders, “You’re here, but you don’t know me. Why couldn’t the gas have come up with something different? Why this again? Every time I see you like this, and now I won’t even be able to escape you when it fades.” His voice rose with every word as the panic rose and his grip on Dick’s shoulders tightened painfully.

Gas? Dick wondered, and then it hit him. Somehow Damian had gotten himself fear gassed. It must have been on the worktable that had fallen. Whoever he’d seen dart into the supply room had probably been fighting with Damian. His guess was Tim. He must have been in here working on something when Damian came down.

Dick swallowed, the fear gas wasn’t even the big issue. Tim had gone after the antidote and would be back any minute. Even so Damian was going to have to ride it out for a while. No what bothered him was how the kid said _again_.

He obviously thought Dick was a product of the gas, so did he imagine losing Dick this way often? Was it one of the big fears that the gas always hit him with? The realization was like a kick in the gut. Damian’s biggest fear was losing him and Dick still being there. And he’d done it to him. Not consciously, but still.

He put his hands on Damian’s wrists, “I’m sorry.” He said.

At some point Damian had started crying, his cheeks shone with tear tracks, “Did you know? It’s worse than when you were dead, at least then it didn’t hurt so much.”

He didn’t know what to say, what to do. His salvation came with the pounding of feet on the cave floor as Tim charged over, sliding to a stop beside them. He didn’t even question Dick’s presence, instead he knelt next to Damian’s side and turned the kid away from Dick to face him.

“Hey, Dami. I’ve got the antidote, let me see your arm ok?” The words were more to distract Damian than actually request his assistance, Tim was already injecting him with the liquid as he said them. As soon as he was done he pulled the kid close to him, running a hand through his hair.

“You’ll be ok. Give it a few minutes to kick in alright?” Tim’s voice was quiet and reassuring as Damian pressed his face into his brother’s chest, his small form shaking with whatever fears the gas was conjuring next.

“Drake?” both Dick and Tim jumped at the question.

“Yes?”

“Grayson’s not here is he?”

Tim looked up and locked eyes with Dick for a moment before looking back down at Damian, “No, he’s not.”

“Good.” Damian breathed then jerked his head up to look at Tim, “But you’re here, right?”

Tim nodded, “Yeah, I’m here. I’m right here.”

Dick watched them, his arms aching to take hold of Damian and comfort the kid. He knew he couldn’t, his presence was only causing his youngest brother more pain. Until he remembered he was helpless to do anything for him. Dick almost stood to go, to leave Damian in Tim’s capable hands. He was stopped by a cry from Damian.

His shuddering turned to panicked flailing in Tim’s arms, as he squirmed to get away from him. The panic was more than just a different fearscape taking over. By now the antidote should have kicked in and started mollifying the effects of the fear toxin, instead things were getting worse.

“Crap, crap, crap, crap,” Tim said, “Dick get over here.”

“What’s going on?” Dick was beside Tim in a second.

Tim thrust Damian toward Dick’s arms, “Take him.”

Dick slid back, “No, I can’t. He doesn’t want me.”

Tim groaned, “You need to take him from me. You’re the only one he feels safe around, and I can’t do anything else for him.”  

Dick’s eyes narrowed, “What do you mean? What’s happening? He should be getting better not worse.”

Tim bit his bottom lip and glanced down at Damian, “I thought the antidote would work with the toxin I was experimenting on. Unfortunately, I changed its composition too much and now the antidote’s enhanced the effects.”

“Enhanced? Experimenting? Tim what were you doing?”

“I was trying to find something to stop Mindbender. It was supposed to only muddle the mind, which is why Damian was so coherent. Now, it’s more like a full dose, and I can’t risk giving him something else that might only make it worse. Now take him, please.”

Dick hesitated and hated himself for it. He kept seeing Damian’s face as he told him he was a product of a fearscape, and then again when he told him he’d almost rather Dick be dead. The pain and loneliness in his eyes and voice had been too much. Dick didn’t want to cause that again.

But what if Tim was right and he was the only one able to help Damian now?

He nodded, “Ok, I’ll try,” he said and leaned forward, scooping Damian into his arms as best as he could. His brother was still squirming, fighting both Dick and Tim now in an attempt to fight off whatever it was he was seeing.

“Shh, it’s ok,” Dick said tugging him into his lap and wrapping his arms around him.

It wasn’t immediate, but there was a definite change that came over Damian once he was close to Dick. He calmed down, and at first Dick attributed it to the fearscape changing. Then the shuddering slowed again. Damian was still spaced out, looking at nothing as Dick held him, but he wasn’t as panicked.

“See, I told you.” There was a line of triumph in Tim’s voice, “He trusts you, no matter what he says.”

“Trust or not, don’t sound so confident this will work,” Dick leveled a glare at Tim.

His brother had the decency to look ashamed, “It should, the gas wasn’t a strong one to start off with. The worst of its effects should fade soon.”

Dick nodded, “I’ll take Damian upstairs then. He’ll be more comfortable in a bed than on the floor here. You, don’t leave the manor. We’re going to talk about you’re ‘experiment’ later.”


	5. Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick takes care of Damian while Tim calls Jason to move up their plans to go after Mindbender.

Dick found himself at a crossroad. Not a literal one since he was standing in a hallway, but it might as well have been. He couldn’t remember which room was Damian’s, and after the way he’d stormed out of the cave he didn’t want to ask Tim. Neither did he want to ask Alfred or Bruce. Both would want to know exactly how Damian had gotten fear toxin in his system and Dick wasn’t ready for that conversation.

So there he stood holding a barely conscious Damian in his arms, looking from door to door trying desperately to remember if anyone had told him where his youngest brother’s room was. He was almost certain it was in the same general area as everyone else’s, but with a building as large as the manor there was still more left than he cared to check.

He grit his teeth, this was insane. How was he supposed to be any use to Damian if he couldn’t even remember simple things like this? Knowing where his brother slept should have been second nature to him. Instead he was forced to rely on secondhand knowledge and scribbled notes. Damian was worth more than that.

He tugged Damian a little closer to his chest, wishing not for the first time that he’d never made that stupid deal with Mindbender. Losing Damian was too big of a price to pay for temporary safety, even if he’d remember him at some point. The pain he was putting Dami, and the rest of his family, through far outweighed anything Mindbender could have dealt on his own.

He should have paid more attention to Mindbender’s offer. Give up any memory for his family’s safety? Why didn’t he question that further, ask for details? Make sure it was a specific memory instead of the memory of a person? Instead he’d jumped in headfirst, no thought of the consequences. Of what or _who_ he might lose.

Damian stirred, muttering something about his mother. The muffled words pulled Dick from his thoughts and back to the task at hand. How was he going to find Damian’s room? He couldn’t just walk there, or could he?

Muscle memory was a powerful thing, Dick realized. He could use it to help him navigate his way back. He was sure he’d carried Damian to his room often enough, he was always dragging one of his brother’s to bed, Damian would be no different. He moved back to the mouth of the hallway then closed his eyes and let his feet carry him.

When he stopped he found himself outside a door closer to the end of the hallway. He adjusted his grip on Damian to free a hand and swung it open. Tidy, but full of life Damian’s room matched the picture Dick was beginning to form about him.

His eyes scanned the room going from the weapons to the art supplies and violin in the corner. The corners of his mouth turned up as he almost tripped over a plastic chew toy on his way to Damian’s bed, he’d had a feeling the Great Dane didn’t belong to Bruce.

For the first time since he’d taken him from Tim, Damian put up a struggle as Dick tried to lay him on the bed.

“No! Don’t go. Don’t leave me here alone!” he cried gripping wide eyed at Dick’s shirt before wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck in an attempt to hang on.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. I’m not leaving, just laying you down.” Dick soothed, sitting down on the bed, “You’ll be more comfortable with an actual pillow under your head, I promise.”

Damian shook his head, “Don’t let go,” he insisted, tightening his arms around Dick’s neck.

There went Dick’s plan to tuck Damian in and have a word with Tim about his attempt to go after Mindbender on his own. He’d been counting on Dami passing out on the way over, instead his brother seemed more aware now than he’d been since the ‘antidote’ had kicked in.

“Ok, I won’t. I promise,” Dick said, powerless to deny the boy whatever comfort he could.

At his words Damian seemed to calm down again, loosening his hold and allowing Dick to adjust him into a more comfortable cradle now that they were seated. He pulled his legs up onto the bed and scooted back to rest his back against the bed’s headboard. Damian snuggled closer to him, and Dick tugged one of the blankets from the bed over them both.

* * *

 

Tim waited a full five minutes after Dick left before calling Jason. He knew for a fact that no matter how serious the threat was, it had been in vain. The moment he took Damian he’d set himself up to stick with the kid until the fear gas wore off. Not because he planned to stay, but because Damian would request it and Dick could never refuse Damian. 

“Tell me you’ve got a lead on Mindbender’s location,” He said when his brother picked up the phone.

“What happened to hello? Or Hey Jay how are you today? Or Thanks for being so level headed last night, I don’t know how you managed to survive dealing with a very panicked group of brothers?”

Tim tuned out half of Jason’s rambling as he turned his attention to the mess he and Damian had made of the worktable, “Excuse me for wanting to get to the point,” he said when his brother’s voice finally paused.

“It’s your loss. I was going to regale you with tales of how heroic I was.” Tim could hear Jason’s shrug in his words and wanted to roll his eyes, not that it would do any good, no one was there to see it.

He righted the table before moving to get a broom to sweep up the broken glass left on the floor, “Jay, I was there last night.”

“So you were. What’s up?”

Tim sighed, “I need to know if you have a lead on Mindbender. We’ve got an opening to go after him tonight.”

“What happened? I thought you were patrolling with the Baby Bat tonight?” Jason asked his voice tinged with curiosity.

He looked down at the broken glass and grimaced, “There was an accident.”

“I’m coming over now.”

“Wait! Not that kind of accident, everyone’s fine. Well, kind of. No one’s bleeding,” Tim hoped Jason had stopped his mad scramble for the door, he’d get more work done without his brother there.

“Regardless, I’ll be there in ten.” The line clicked off before Tim could argue further. There was little use calling him back and trying to explain things. Having him already at the cave would probably speed up their preparations some, even if it did slow Tim in other areas of work.

* * *

 

“Alright spill it, Timmers what did you do?” Jason asked as he stormed into the cave. He’d managed to avoid being seen on the way in, making a beeline for the cave and Tim.

His brother was busy tinkering with a circular disc sitting on a worktable. He didn’t bother to look up from cutting a wire as he answered, “I just want to say that I’m not entirely at fault for what happened.”

At his words Jason felt the worry that had settled in his stomach at hearing the word ‘accident’ grow, bleeding or not something bad had happened and he needed to know if Tim deserved a black eye or not. “That’s reassuring, even so I’m not promising not to yell. Now tell me, what did you do to the Bat Brat that’s got him out of commission for tonight?”

Tim sighed, “It was worth a shot,” he said and rolled his chair back away from his project, not finished but taking a break, “I might have accidentally caused Damian to get fear gassed.”

Jason’s eyes went wide, “Excuse me? Did I just hear you say you got Damian fear gassed?” Of all the things he’d imagined to happen this was the last. He’d thought that maybe Damian had broken a bone in a fight with Tim or gotten a concussion, but fear gas? What had his brother been doing?

 Tim pressed his lips together and glanced back at the workstation behind him like he was regretting it, “I was working on a way to stop Mindbender, it was supposed to be mild. Just enough to confuse him.”

He crossed his arms, “So how did Damian end up gassed enough that you’re confident he’ll miss patrol?”

Now Tim looked really guilty, his lips pressed closer together and he fiddled with the screwdriver he was still holding, “I miscalculated the extent to which I’d changed the gas and ended up giving Damian and antidote that made things worse.”

Jason swore under his breath, “You’ve got to be kidding me, Tim do you know what that kid’s been through?” He could only imagine how Damian must have, must _be_ feeling right now. If it wasn’t one thing this week it was another. If he didn’t know better he’d think that they’d been cursed.

“I know!” Tim ran a hand through his hair, “That’s not even the worst of it, guess who showed up while I was searching for the antidote?”

Jason didn’t even have to guess. Murphy’s law had never hit them as bad as it had over the past few days, “Dick.”

Tim nodded, “Damian thought he was part of a fearscape. I don’t know what they talked about but Damian wasn’t happy, and Dick almost didn’t take him after I gave him the antidote. Dick never hesitates to take care of Damian.”

“It could have been his lack of memories,” Jason suggested, but they both knew that wasn’t the case. If anything Dick had been more protective of Damian without his memories than he was with them. It was like he was overcompensating for the lack of knowledge, instead trying his best to keep Damian from anything worse happening.

“Whatever it was,” Tim said, “It made me realize we can’t let this go on any longer. We’ve got an opportunity so I say we take it.”

Jason nodded, “As long as you’re not planning to try the gas thing again.”

Tim grimaced, “No, I’ve learned my lesson. I’m working on a kind of sonic device that should interrupt his powers long enough for one of us to knock him out. It’s not pretty, but it’ll work.”

Jason nodded, “Make sure it doesn’t break down on us, I’ll keep looking for Mindbender. I’ve got a few leads, and should be able to flesh something out by tonight.”

* * *

 

They worked together in silence for the rest of the afternoon. Alfred stopped by once, and if he wondered why Jason was there he didn’t ask, just greeted him and asked if they needed anything. From the way he asked it seemed like he didn’t know what had happened earlier, if they were lucky Bruce wouldn’t find out either. At least not until they’d already left to find Mindbender.

Jason glanced at the clock, if Bruce stayed with his usual schedule they had half an hour to sneak out of the cave before he arrived to find them there. He spun his chair to face Tim who was still working at the table on the sonic device, “You didn’t tell B about what happened did you?”

Tim shook his head, “Do you think we’d be doing this if I told him? We’re lucky he was at W.E. today.”

Jason nodded, “He’s going to be furious when Damian doesn’t show up for patrol and he finds out.”

Tim’s eyes were locked on the device as he sealed the back shut, “By then we’ll have caught Mindbender and he’ll have forgotten all about the accident.”

“That’s a relief, I was afraid I’d have to sit through a pointless explanation to Father of why you thought it was a good idea to experiment with fear gas.”

Both Tim and Jason turned to find Damian walking towards them. He’d changed into his Robin uniform and was pulling on his gloves as he approached. His face was pale, sickly so, and his hair was still a mess, but there were storm clouds behind his eyes.

“You should be resting,” Jason said.

At the same time Tim asked, “Where’s Dick?”  

 “Grayson’s sleeping, he needs the rest more than I do. I don’t think he slept at all last night,” Damian answered his tone daring them to argue.

It seemed like Tim wanted to take him up on his dare, “If anyone needs rest it’s you. Go back to Dick, he’ll make sure you’re fully recovered.” 

“I’m fine.” Damian said, “I’m coming with you.”

“No. Even if you hadn’t been gassed today you’re in no shape to come with us.” Tim frowned.

Damian crossed his arms, “We already discussed this, Drake. I’m coming with you or going on my own. If you really care about my safety, you’ll let me join you.”

Jason realized he needed to step in or they’d run in circles until fists started flying. Which was probably what had happened earlier to make Damian end up in a cloud of fear gas. He stood and addressed his youngest brother, “Alright, you can come, under one condition. You follow our orders no matter what we ask you to do.”

“Deal,” Damian agreed.

Tim spun on Jason, “No, no deal. He is not coming.” He turned back to Damian, “You are not coming.”

Damian raised an eyebrow at him, “You owe me, Drake. What do you think Father will say if I tell him that you gassed me to make sure I couldn’t patrol tonight?”

“It was an accident!”

Jason rested a hand on Tim’s shoulder, “Do you really think you can stop him Tim? This way we can make sure he’s ok. Besides you do owe him this, you did drug him today.”

“Twice,” Damian added.

Tim groaned, “I’m not going to win this am I?”

“No,” Jason and Damian said matching grins.

“Fine. But you stay behind us the entire time. No risks, no running ahead, and for goodness sake please don’t lose any memories.”

* * *

 

Damian refused to let the heavy weight of exhaustion he felt hold him back as he followed Red Robin and Red Hood across Gotham. He’d woken up curled against Grayson covered in a feeling of warmth and safety that lasted only as long as it took his mind to realize that if Grayson was there it meant that Drake had lied to him.

He’d told his brother he’d rather him be dead. His stomach roiled with the memory of it. His first instinct had been to run, then he’d wanted to blame Tim, and finally he’d settled on feeling guilty. He’d fix it though. He’d get Grayson’s memories back and apologize. His brother would understand when he remembered. He had to.

That’s why he couldn’t give into his heavy eyelids or the shaking in his hands. Why he had to shake off the lingering effects of the toxin and get his mind in order. They had to catch Mindbender tonight, there was no getting around it.

“There, that apartment. My sources say Mindbender’s got his hideout there,” Hood said pointing to an old apartment building. The glass in most of the windows had been broken out and there was a large hole on the third floor where part of the wall used to be.

Damian frowned at it, “Tt, it looks like it’s about to fall apart. Are you sure your sources were right?”

Jason glanced back at him, “I didn’t have a lot of time to confirm it, but the majority of my sources point here.”

“It’s the best we have right now,” Tim said moving ahead of them, “You guys ready? He’s supposed to be in the basement.”

Damian and Jason nodded. Tim clicked on the sonic device he’d constructed as they made their way over. Caution was the imperative as they made their way into the building and down to the basement. Damian wanted to charge forward, but memories from their last encounter with Mindbender held him back, he didn’t want a repeat of the other day.

He crouched behind Jason as they descended the stairwell to the basement. They paused for a breath before Tim swung the door open silently. Another breath passed as Damian’s brother’s peered into the room then stepped inside.

They were met with a large room. A few doors dotted the side walls leading deeper into the building, hidden partially behind the shadow of support pillars that stood at even intervals through the room. A white board took up one corner of the room, juxtaposed by a large wooden table. Scattered through the rest of the room were chairs of various sizes. It was a setting that wouldn’t have been out of place in a school room, but in the basement of an apartment building it felt off.

The room was bare of people, which was also odd. Mindbender was supposed to be there, Jason’s sources had him entering the building not an hour earlier.

The three vigilantes fanned out to examine the room further. Tim went straight to the board, and Jason moved to the table to begin shifting through the papers scattered across it. Damian walked over to one of the doors to try it. Maybe Mindbender was in a different part of the basement.

He was happy to take the job searching the doors. Despite his earlier bluster he didn’t think he could make sense of whatever was written on the board or any of the papers on the table. He was tired, running on anger and adrenaline.

As a result, he didn’t hear his assailant approach him from behind, neither did he hear the swish of the butt of the gun until it connected with the back of his head sparking stars in his sight as he crumped forward with a cry. A hand caught his arm and jerked him roughly backward against a hard chest.

His eyes locked on Tim and Jason who’d turned at his cry. They moved to rush them but froze as the barrel of the gun was shoved painfully against the bottom of his jaw, forcing his head up, “One more step and Robin dies.” The voice was different from Mindbender’s, a guard perhaps?

He couldn’t see Jason’s expression behind his helmet, but Tim’s eyes narrowed and his jaw set. Damian could picture the gears spinning in his brother’s mind as he tried to work out how best to deal with the situation. It would be best if he could get away on his own, but his head was spinning. He felt drained, his energy having gone with his balance.

Red Robin held his arms out in a reassuring way, palms up, “Easy, I’m sure we can work all this out, just let Robin go and we can talk.”

“Yeah, we’re not here for you anyway,” Jason said.

The hand on Damian’s arm tightened, “I know who you’re here for, Mindbender. He left me to guard the place. Heard there were some pesky birds poking their noses in what they shouldn’t.” Damian could hear the grin in the man’s voice, “Won’t he be pleased to find out I caught not just one but a bunch of the guys he was worried about.”

“First of all, if you’re going to call us birds use beaks not noses. Get your references right.”

Damian’s heart jumped to his throat at the voice: Grayson, or rather Nightwing. Damian didn’t know why he was surprised. Of course Grayson would have followed them. He’d probably woken up just after Damian had snuck away from him and followed them from there. There wasn’t a universe in which Grayson wouldn’t follow his brothers to make sure they were safe, especially if they were going after someone for his sake.

The man holding Damian turned at the voice, forcing Damian to stumble along with him. The man let out a snarl, “How’d you get here?”

They’d had their backs to the door and hadn’t seen Nightwing’s approach. Now the blue and black clad vigilante stood, escarma sticks at the ready, with a smirk on his face.

“Secondly, never turn your back on a pair of vigilantes in favor of one. It’s a bad idea,” Dick said before darting forward.

The gun disappeared from where it had been pressed against Damian’s chin to be aimed at Nightwing, “Stop or!” the man yelled as something crashed into him from behind, jarring his hold on him.

Damian tore away from him and ducked as Nightwing arrived, landing on the thug. Damian spun around to see both Red Hood and Nightwing trying to wrestle the gun from the other man’s hand. Now that he could see him Damian thought he recognized the man from one of the articles Tim had pulled up earlier that day.

In the confusion of limbs and movement Damian had lost sight of the gun. Then a shot rang out and someone, Damian couldn’t tell who, cried out. A moment later Nightwing pulled away from the other two men and flung the gun to the side, sending it skittering across the ground. Red Hood was yanking the thug’s arms behind him, but Damian didn’t care about that. He was worried about the shot.

Hood seemed fine, so did the other man which meant, “Nightwing!” the name tore from his lips as his oldest brother tipped over from where he’d been sitting and fell to his side. Damian scrambled over to him, not bothering to stand, and threw himself next to his fallen brother.

His mind raced with all the things that could have happened, where Grayson could be hurt. He never should have insisted on coming tonight, not when it meant Grayson would get hurt. “Please be ok, please be ok,” he said leaning over Grayson. His brother’s hand was clasped to the side of his neck.

“Mmm fine, it’s just a flesh wound,” Dick groaned, his blue eyes flashed over to Damian, the worry showing even through the pain, “You ok?”

Damian nodded, unable to find the words. Grayson smiled at him, like that was supposed to make everything better. As if a smile could wash away the blood seeping on to his hand or stop the panicked fluttering of Damian’s heart.

“Good, that’s good,” Dick sighed and let his eyes slide closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After discussing it with TheGalacticPope I made a slight change to Dick's injury. When I wrote this chapter initially I was unaware of how crappy side wounds are, I am no longer uneducated (at least in this area) and have altered it to a neck wound. See you next chapter. :)


	6. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian takes care of Dick while Bruce shows up to deal with Mindbender's hideout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a while since I last posted (blame: Midterms) and I've got a few things to go over before we get started. 
> 
> First of all, if you've been keeping up with this fic in any way, comments, kudos, just reading it, thanks so much. I'm blown away by how many of you guys are enjoying this. Thanks thanks and thanks! 
> 
> Secondly, I ended the last chapter with Dick getting shot in the side. I have since changed that (because those kinds of injuries suck) I changed the last chapter to reflect that edit, and this chapter will follow suit. 
> 
> That's it for now. Enjoy!

Damian was cold, but he was too angry to do anything about it. At least that’s what he told himself as he curled up next to Grayson on the medical gurney in the cave. The cold didn’t bother him. The shivers didn’t matter. The only thing that did was keeping an eye on his brother.

Superficial wound or not, Grayson was still hurt. Even if it was only a few stitches compared to what it could have been Alfred had needed to stitch him closed. All that because of Damian.  He never should have been there. Why hadn’t he listened to Drake? Trusted Grayson’s memory to come back rather than attempting to fix it himself?

It seemed all Damian could do was make mistakes. He’d rushed into things tonight, fought with Tim, yelled at Grayson countless times, and hadn’t been strong enough to stop this whole thing from happening when they’d first encountered Mindbender. Some hero he was turning out to be. 

Hot shame burned in his stomach and he curled closer in on himself to quell it. He didn’t even deserve to be here. He should be somewhere else. Training, or working to find out where Mindbender was, anything that would be productive or useful. Whatever it took to help Grayson instead of leaving laying here useless.

Except. Father had required it. He’d arrived at the basement shortly after the fight ended. Grayson had called him on his way over. He had been furious when he’d arrived, taking in the place in one look, barking orders, and pausing only to check on Damian and Dick.

Keep an eye on Dick, and _rest_ he’d commanded as he’d sent them away from the apartment. Damian should have been happy, Father had trusted him to drive the car for once, but all he felt was anger at himself.

He glanced up at his brother, his breaths were deep and even, peaceful. A stark contrast to an hour ago when he and Damian had stumbled in, hastily applied bandage already peeling back from their less than gentle rush back. Damian didn’t remember a lot of what happened next. At some point Alfred had assured him the wound wasn’t serious, a scratch more or less. But because it had hit Grayson’s neck it had bled a lot. Damian knew these facts, but hearing them from Alfred had helped ease the worry.

As soon as he’d finished with the older Robin Alfred had turned to Damian. A minor concussion, he diagnosed as he’d checked the boy out and bandaged his wound. Damian hadn’t even realized he’d been bleeding. He reached back and touched the tender spot wincing slightly, so many things had gone wrong today.

“Damian?” Thick with sleep Dick’s voice still managed to echo quietly in the empty cave.

His attention snapped to his brother. Bloodshot blue eyes blinked at him and Damian wondered exactly how much sleep Dick had had over the past two days. Whatever it was it wasn’t enough. Guilt spiked his rolling stomach, _all his fault._

“Go back to sleep,” he said keeping his voice soft in an attempt to ease his brother back into unconscious rest.

Instead of drifting closed, Grayson’s eyes narrowed at him. “You’re freezing,” he said.

“I’m not cold.” Damian lied unsure of how his brother had even deduced how cold Damian was. He’d been sleeping up until moments before, and as good of a detective as he was even Grayson couldn’t figure things out that fast.

Dick pressed his lips together in a frown. “Don’t lie. You’re shivering woke me.”

Of course it had. He’d probably been making the whole gurney shudder with his shaking. Damian bit back a curse, could he do nothing right today? He should have just laid down under the blanket with Grayson, but he hadn’t to spite himself. No one had yelled at him so he’d decided to deny himself the physical comfort of being close to his brother.

He swallowed back frustrated tears. “I should go. Let you rest in peace,” He said sitting up. He threw his legs over the edge of the gurney to hop off and froze when his brother hissed.

At first Damian thought he’d been the source of the pained noise, he’d jarred Grayson or something and turned to apologize. His worry spiked to fear when he saw Grayson attempting to sit up.

His hands moved of their own accord as he leaned forward. He gripped both his brother’s shoulders and pushed him back down. “Do _not_ get up. You’ll tear your stitches.” His tone came out sharper than he’d intended but he found himself not caring, Grayson should know better.

“Right.” his brother exhaled the word as his head fell back against his pillow. Damian sighed and sat back, releasing Dick’s shoulders. He was stopped when one of his wrists was grabbed, held tight in Dick’s grasp. “Don’t leave.”

Damian pulled his wrist back, attempting to free it from Grayson’s grip. “Let go, I’m only interrupting your rest.”

“Nonsense. Besides—” Dick paused releasing Damian’s wrist to brush the gauze on his head, “You look like you need the rest too.”

Damian jerked back away from him, and immediately regretted it. Dick’s eyes flashed with worry. “I’m fine, the bump’s in the back.” He muttered the excuse, then as a kind of apology he motioned to his brother. “Scoot over so I can fit.”

His brother acquiesced and Damian shifted his weight, slipping the blanket out from under him before climbing underneath it and laying down again as far from Grayson as possible on the small bed. They still ended up touching, but nothing more than a brush against each other.

“There, was that so hard?” Dick said as Damian was settling in.

It wasn’t. But it was. Those words, broke something in Damian. It wasn’t the words themselves, but maybe the fact that Grayson was so persistent, so good even when he had no reason to beyond a few days’ acquaintance. His breath caught as shame rushed him again, mingled this time with regret. He could feel tears prickling his eyes again. Why was he so weak? Why hadn’t he decided to trust Grayson more?

His eyes flitted to Dick, resting on the bandage on his neck. He saw Dick fall again, and saw the blood pooling around him. Felt the panic in his heart that he was going to lose him. Lose his brother for real this time, and there would be none of him left. All of a sudden he knew he had to apologize. He couldn’t wait for his brother to get his memories back. He didn’t care about the memories, because Grayson was Grayson and always would be.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

“About what?” Dick made no move to pull Damian to him. A part of him wished his brother would force him to move closer, but the bigger part of him was content how they were. He didn’t deserve comfort, not after what he’d done, what he’d _said_.

“For telling you I’d rather you be dead.” He wanted to bury his face in a pillow, hide his shame at his foolishness. He’d put everyone through so much because he couldn’t accept his brother. What kind of person did that make him?

Grayson didn’t say anything and Damian felt like his heart it was going to burst from his chest it was beating so hard. His mind raced with every way Grayson might respond. Most ended with him either being ejected from the bed or him fleeing himself.

One of the tears that had been threatening escape and slipped down his cheeks and Damian knew he needed to expand on what he'd said. Grayson needed to know, especially if he was about to send him away. “I don’t want you dead.” It came out in a mumble, but at least he was getting the words out, “I don’t care if you know me or not. Or like me or not. Or forgive me. Having you here is enough.”

Grayson’s arms wrapped around him, tugging him close before Damian felt his brother’s chin press into his hair. His heart stilled for a moment, assured of his brother’s care. Then he remembered this was his fault. All this was another burden for Grayson to bear because of him. He had to resist the urge to jerk away. That would only worry Dick more.

“It’s alright. I forgive you, and I’m not angry.” He said, his words soft, breath teasing Damian’s hair. “If anything I understand. Losing someone is terrible. Losing them yet still having them? I can't even begin to know what you’re feeling.”

“No.” Damian shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m ok.”

Dick’s arms tightened around him, “You don’t have to be. This isn’t permanent. I’m not asking you to act like it is. I’m not asking you for anything really, except to be willing to spend some time with me.”

Damian nodded, “I’d like that.”

“Good, then you can start by keeping me company while we rest.”

* * *

 

Bruce was not happy. Jason could tell as much as he watched the Batman stalk around Mindbender’s lair. Cape billowing behind him until he turned, and whipped it out of the way. Yep, not happy at all. Jason almost resented Dick for calling him. Then again, Dick had just taken a bullet for him, so he let the call to Batman slide.

His mind flashed back to the fight, all limbs and grasping. He hadn’t seen the gun aimed at him until it was too late. Then Dick came out of nowhere, just like he had showing up tonight. For someone who’d only just met Damian, Dick knew the kid pretty well. Well enough to have noticed his disappearance then tracked them all here.

Jason glanced at Mindbender’s goon- Burt was his name or something like that. It’s all they’d gotten out of him before he’d clammed up putting on a face of false bravado. Which was fine, interrogations always went better when they had questions to ask. Right now, they were still gathering information from the hideout.

As they sifted through files in silence Jason could be glad of one thing, in this situation Bruce couldn’t feasibly yell at them. What criminal would be terrified of a Batman turned father yelling at his kids for being stupid? Even the ‘not following orders’ lecture was off the table for now, they didn’t want Burt thinking the Batman couldn’t control a bunch of vigilantes.

Unfortunately, that didn’t stop the simmering anger Jason could feel radiating from his adopted father. Hopefully he’d get out some of his frustration in questioning Burt. Until then Jason hoped he could find some good information that might smooth out Bruce’s irritation.

He turned back to the pin board he’d been assigned to look over and sighed. Nothing but a bunch of jumbled thoughts and ideas. The weird thing was that none of them seemed to fit together with one another. Even for a crazy villain the board should have some kind of continuity or thread to tie the thoughts together. This was a mess. Pictures scribbled onto sheets of paper, notes scratched out on napkins, different pieces of poetry patch-worked into a single poem. Jason didn’t understand any of it.

Scratch that. He understood nothing except the scrap of paper he’d just uncovered. Underneath the poem was a hauntingly familiar sketch circled in red. Jason tugged it off the board, tearing the top in the process. Not that it mattered, nothing would change the image displayed. It was one of Jason’s favorite secret entrances to the cave. Hidden behind a fake brick wall covered in graffiti Bruce had let Jason do himself when they were setting it up years ago.

“Hey, Bats I think you need to see this.” He said not taking his eyes from the page.

Bruce was by his side in a second. He glanced at the paper once before snatching it from Jason’s hand. He then turned on his heel towards Burt. The man didn’t seem to notice Bruce approach, he was too busy trying to throw a taunt Red Robin’s way, something about needing to pick a different costume next time.

His face when Bruce grabbed his collar and dragged him to his feet was something Jason wish he’d taken a picture of. Burt’s grin dropped into a terrified gape, the color draining from his face faster than the kitchen sink when it’s plug is pulled, and the tiniest of squeaks coming from his throat.

“You’ll tell me what Mindbender knows about this, and you’ll tell me now.” Bruce said holding up the sheet of paper for him to see.

Burt’s eyes bugged as he shifted them towards the paper, “I dunno. He remembers things sometimes. Not everything he sees when he’s diggin’ through someone’s head, bits and pieces mostly. I’d say that’s a bit.”

“Not a piece?” Jason muttered and received a quick glare from Bruce. He shrugged and stepped back from where he’d followed to watch.

Bruce dropped him back into the chair, as Tim approached taking the page from him, “Does he only remember images?”

Jason shook his head, “Not from what I could tell. There’s words, poetry, more of those bits and pieces Bruised Burt here was talking about.”

“Where’d you find this?” Bruce asked turning to him.

Jason pointed at the board and together they made their way back over. Knowing they were memory pieces made the eclectic grouping of information make a lot more sense. Jason wondered what pages belonged to who, and even if they were all memories from his family.

His eyes roved the board for anything else that might be incriminating. Any sign Mindbender knew who they were or their exact location. None seemed apparent, but then again he’d missed the entrance sketch his first look over too.

Aside from what could be pieces of a few pass codes and what had to be a drawing of one of Bruce’s bookshelves there wasn’t anything obviously connected to them. Bruce still insisted on them collecting everything for study. Jason knew he’d want everyone to look over them to try and see who connected with what memory. He also had them collect anything that was on the table before moving back to Burt.

“Where’s Mindbender now?” he asked.

The man shrugged. “He said he was going to check out some place. Didn’t say where. He did say he might not be back until late. You’re not gonna leave me tied up for the cops are you?”

Jason turned to grin at him, “When he’s done with you, you’ll be begging to be left tied up for the cops.”

Burt gulped. “What if I told you I lied? That Bender was going to check out that place you showed me?”

“That,” Jason said, “Would change things.”


	7. Mindbender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it's not obvious by now I'm just going to say it. These poor guys can't catch a break ever. 
> 
> Thanks to TheGalacticPope for her headcannon about Damian practicing Baguazhang (which comes up a few times in this chapter if not directly named). If you're curious about what it is she's got a ton of information on it and a lot of helpful videos.

Damian was at the point of exhaustion where sleep refused to come. He should be relaxed. He was safe, warm, and curled up next to his brother. His brother who was also safe, and not angry with him. His brother who cared more than he should, who was hurt because of Damian. Instead nervous energy buzzed through his veins making him antsy as he tried to fall asleep.

He listened to Grayson’s breathing. He’d been around Dick enough to know when he was faking sleep and when he wasn’t. For the better part of an hour Grayson had been faking it. Probably to make sure Damian didn’t try to sneak away. This time as he listened he could hear the difference; Grayson had given into sleep at last.

He inched himself up and off the bed, careful to make sure he didn’t jostle the gurney too much or tear the blanket away from Dick. He froze as his feet hit the floor, waiting for any change in Grayson’s breathing. When none came, he relaxed and moved to the far side of the cave intent on expelling some of his extra energy.

He began with simple stretches careful of his concussion. He’d stop if he got dizzy or saw any signs of the injury affecting him. Pennyworth would be furious if he found Damian up and exercising. Thankfully the butler had gone up to the manor to prepare an after-patrol dinner for the others, leaving Damian to ‘call him if anything happened’. Not that anything would. Father had things well under control, and would likely be returning to the cave soon.

Damian just needed to _move_. He’d spent most of the day stressed or drugged. His only chance at action ended with him hurt. He moved out of a stretch and began to walk in a tight circle, facing the center of the imaginary line he was creating. He turned on his heel, keeping to the circle and thrust his left palm out, then his right. It was a dance, turning, kicking, and striking at imaginary foes.

It felt good to be moving after so much inactivity. He gradually allowed his movements to speed up, his body falling into an easy rhythm, one he’d known since childhood. He’d once danced like this. Sword in hand, a deadly show of proficiency for his mother. He didn’t need a sword today, nor his mother. No matter how much his heart ached when he thought of her.

Mother. Talia. Al Ghul. He’d left her and the name behind when he’d come to stay with Father. But Father hadn’t wanted him. Not at first. Not at all. He doubled his speed, his breath coming shorter. He’d been a distraction, a hindrance, _used_. Father had been right not to want him. And so wrong. By the time he’d realized that Father was gone, lost in time.

Damian spun, his hand itching for one or both of his swords, the added weight would be a comfort now. He ignored the desire as his eyes landed on his still sleeping brother. Grayson. The only one who hadn’t used him. Who had wanted him. Damian had known the moment his Father had ‘died’ that he’d have to return to his Mother. The dread had been a lead weight in his stomach, until Grayson’s bright smile and official offer of the Robin mantle had lifted it. 

It wasn’t fair. They’d been through too much together for Grayson to forget him. The initial betrayal he’d felt hit him again in the stomach, almost making him stumble on a turn. He pushed himself harder, working off the frustration, sweat beginning to drip down his neck. It was fine. Damian would have done the same for Grayson, in a heartbeat.

He’d fought so hard for the family he had, and to have part of it torn from him was infuriating. There was a buzz at the back of his head, a warning to slow down. Catch his breath. Heed his injury. He ignored it. If he didn’t work out his anger now he’d only lash out again later. Grayson didn’t deserve him yelling again. None of his family did.

Maybe he would grab his swords, their weight would help wear him down faster. He paused, and in that moment a blinding pain laced his skull. It wasn’t the concussion, but that wasn’t helping either. This pain was familiar, Mindbender. It didn’t feel like the invasion it had the first time Mindbender had attacked. This was like a probe, and Damian was prepared for it as he began counting times tables making the pain ebb. The back of his head was throbbing. Stupid thug. Stupid Damian for not paying attention.

He spun, eye’s lighting on Grayson for a moment- still safe- before raking across the cave, his feet taking him automatically towards the gurney. Somehow Mindbender had gotten in or was close, and Damian needed to find him.  

“Grayson.” he hissed a hand going to his brother’s shoulder.

Dick’s eyes flew open and would have sat up if Damian hadn’t added pressure to the shoulder he was still holding. “Mindbender. Cave. Silence.” Damian whispered.

“I don’t believe that will be necessary. You won’t have any luck hiding from me.” Mindbender stepped out of the shadows closest to them.

His outfit hadn’t changed from their initial encounter. It was still stupid, some kind of cross between a clown and an optometrist. If he’d been going for scary he’d missed the mark and hit just plain weird with eyeballs printed all over his baggy clothes. Unfortunately, it worked in a different way. The goofy clothes and huge glasses he wore were disarming. They’d taken him for a fool and paid for it.

Not this time.

Dick sat up, pushing his brother’s hand out of the way. He was off the gurney and by Damian’s side the next moment. “How did you get in here?” he demanded.

“I remembered this place, or rather how to get here. It was a picture, from—” Mindbender paused, a hand on his chin, before he pointed it at Damian, “From you. Yes. There’s a lot I remember from you. Or is it about you? Your brother was such a fountain of knowledge.”

White hot rage rushed through Damian, dispelling the leftover pain from his headache and Mindbender’s initial probe. This was all Mindbender’s fault. They’d missed him earlier tonight, but fate had seen to send him their way, and Damian would make him pay. Grayson’s hand on his arm stopped him from leaping forward to pummel the man.

“What do you want?” Dick demanded his tone even, controlled. Everything Damian should be.

“Information.” Mindbender tossed the word like it was obvious, then blinked at them, “I’m in the information business. Did I not explain that last time? I forget things sometimes, there’s so much to remember about everyone else.”

It was this too, his meandering, oddball way of speaking and forgetting that had caused Damian and the others to underestimate him. Information made sense, what didn’t was why he was back. He’d learned everything about Damian from Dick, right?

Grayson asked what Damian was thinking. “Then why are you here? You got enough information from me last time to set yourself up for life.”

Damian inched back away from them, if Grayson kept him talking Damian might have a chance to lock the cave down. He should have done it the moment he’d realized the villain was in the cave, but he’d been worried about Grayson. There was a panic button close behind him on the supply table. It was only a few feet away, but it felt like a mile when sneaking.

“I don’t remember everything. There’s so much inside your heads. I remember bright vibrant memories tinged with pain,” Mindbender said waving a hand in front of him, reaching for the phantom memories he talked about. “They’re the most beautiful.”

Damian had almost reached the table, Mindbender in his own world hadn’t noticed the even steps he’d taken backwards. His hand reached out behind him to search for the button as Mindbender continued.

“Bit and pieces, and pieces and bits. Complied over a few looks inside someone’s head. Then I have the information I need. I hoped that taking everything you knew about Robin would fix that.” he pointed at Dick now, and Damian’s hand brushed the smooth metal casing of the button. “I remember more, but not everything, and the boy knows so much. I knew that the first time I peeked into his mind.”

Mindbender’s finger moved to point at Damian who froze and Dick shifted slightly, angling himself in front of his brother as if to protect him. Not that it would do much good if Mindbender decided to attack. He didn’t need physical contact to incapacitate them. Damian found himself wishing they’d brought Tim’s sonic device back with them. He caught hold of the button and moved his hand to press it, but Mindbender’s next words stopped him.

“I need that information, you see? There are codes, identities, and entire secret army inside his head, information I’ve been promised a lot of money for. I had to find him, and now I have.”

The League. Grandfather. Talia. Mindbender wanted their identities and locations so he could sell them. Damian might have left them, but he couldn’t let that information fall into the wrong hands. His grip on the small device with the button in his hand as he went to push it. Pain bloomed in his head again and visions swam before his eyes, reality and memory mixing, he tried the times tables again but the numbers kept slipping away.   

A league soldier walked past him, forward and through Grayson. Then Goliath was swooping down straight towards the cave’s floor disappearing in a puff of red smoke as he crashed into the floor. Grayson hadn’t moved, and Mindbender still stood in place, saying something about- Damian couldn’t make it out.

The button clattered to the ground as the pain escalated in his head, the visions solidifying into a specific memory. Damian’s knees buckled and he landed on the polished world map he’d grown up with. His mother paced the room, telling him the meaning of his name, detailing out his future, his destiny before him.

Then as suddenly as it had appeared the vision dropped away and Damian found himself back in the cave gasping for breath. Grayson had launched himself at Mindbender taking them both down to wrestle on the ground.  

Damian scrambled behind him for the button, along with locking down the cave it would alert Batman that something was wrong. If they were lucky his father was already on his way, if they weren’t, it would only speed his return and hopefully the return of the sonic device.

He found it, smacking his hand onto it. In an instant metal doors slammed down on every entrance to the cave locking it down so that no one aside from Batman himself could get in. Damian turned his attention back on Grayson, ignoring the throbbing in his head, his headache was back with a vengeance.

His brother was scrambling backwards, a hand to his head. A moment passed before Dick collapsed to the side, unconscious. Mindbender leaned towards him, a grin splitting his face clownishly as he reached out for Dick.  

“No,” Damian said climbing to his feet. “Leave him alone.”

Mindbender’s attention locked on him, his smile transforming into a predatory one. “You’re right,” he said standing. “I had almost forgotten about you.”

Damian didn’t want to give him time to send another mental attack, charging forward instead. He was shocked when Mindbender dropped into a stance Damian had assumed not an hour ago, turning on his heel to avoid the attack. Instincts kicked in and Damian spun himself, aiming a second blow at Mindbender.

The man dodged again. Taking Damian by the arm and flipping him, sending Damian crashing onto the hard stone floor of the cave inches from Dick. The air went out of his chest on the landing. As he struggled to catch his breath Mindbender shook his head.

“Stay down. I know your moves. It’s the one thing I always remember, muscle memory. You and Nightwing couldn’t beat me if you tried for hours.”

Damian growled and attempted to sit up, instead he found himself sitting up in an empty version of the cave. No, it wasn’t empty. Drake was there, dressed as Robin and furious. They’d been fighting, Damian would win. He would prove himself to his father and take his rightful place in the family.

He was on his feet then, resuming his fight with the false son, the pain in his head a dull throb at the back, begging for attention. He ignored it as they fought. The fight altered suddenly as Damian found himself pinned, Drake leaning over him to speak.

“No, not bittersweet enough. You’ve mostly gotten over this haven’t you? Even if you haven’t said it. No. I need something different.”

It wasn’t Drake’s voice, Damian should know this voice. He didn’t think he’d forget it, but he couldn’t place it. He didn’t have time to think further on it as he was flipped again on to his back, a table bursting underneath him.  

Damian’s head felt like it was splitting open as he struggled to sit up, Grayson. No Batman was yelling at another man. White jumpsuit, black cape. Red Hood. Jason Todd was on a rampage through Gotham and they had to stop him. Damian made to move forward and found himself stopped by another figure, something sharp at his neck.

“So many layers here. The mean one? He’s important to you now, isn’t he? There is a bond there that I didn’t notice before.” The voice behind him should have been feminine, instead it was masculine. He couldn’t figure out why, but Damian’s head hurt too much for him to put the pieces together.  

Something twisted at the back of Damian’s head and he cried out. The next transition was rougher than the others had been, as he found himself pulled into someone’s arms. Father. Damian’s heart was aching. Grayson was gone and Father refused to bring him back. Jason had come back, Damian had come back, so why couldn’t Grayson?

“I should be looking for the army, but I can’t help myself.  You have so much beautiful pain in your memories. I should take you with me, then I’d have plenty of time to find what I need.”

 _Memories_. Mindbender. Damian pushed against the arms, these were his memories. He’d let himself get lost in them. Panic flashed in his chest as he tried to remember if there’d been anything incriminating in his memory flashes. None.

Words became garbled again as reality and memory mixed, the arms around him tightened like a vice. Movement was happening outside the word of Damian’s mind. If only he could see, break free from the hold Mindbender had on his mind.

“I’ve wasted too much time,” The words floated to him as if on a breeze, “This should distract them. We’ll meet again, don’t worry.”

The arms around him fell away and Damian hit the ground, head first. Stars burst in his vision, pulling away only as he found himself submerged in memories. He cried out as the memories flooded him. Everything that had ever gone wrong, every mistake, every error hit him at once and then there was his mother’s voice. Telling him that he wasn’t worthy, hadn’t lived up to his name, over and over drowning Damian with each repetition until he was sure he’d never escape.  


	8. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason always seems to find himself taking care of Damian after a Mindbender attack. Is he getting used to it, or actually managing to bond with his brother?

Jason swore under his breath as his comm exploded to life announcing an emergency at the cave. They were so close, ten minutes at most from having made it before Mindbender. Bruce didn’t say a word, only pushed them harder to get back. Tim fiddled with the sonic device strapped to his belt, preparing it for the fight. And Jason? Jason was picturing Mindbender’s stunned face when his stupid powers wouldn’t work anymore. At least that’s what he was trying to do.

A worry churned in his stomach as they tore through the streets of Gotham. Mindbender wasn’t all powerful, but his head games packed a punch. He’d taken out not only Dick and Damian the other night, but Jason and Tim as well. If four of them hadn’t lasted against the villain then how would an injured Dick and Damian fare any better? At least this time they had experience with Mindbender’s powers. Knowing what was coming should help them at least hold out until Jason and the others could arrive.

It felt like it took forever for them to reach one of the caves entrances and get inside. The codes were different when it was in lockdown, and it took Bruce and extra few moments before he got the door to slide open. Then they were sneaking inside, caution the key idea.

Someone was speaking from inside the cave, and the closer they got the more Jason could make out of what was being said, “—beautiful pain in your memories. I should take you with me, then I’d have plenty of time to find what I need.”

Mindbender, and from the sound of things he held the advantage. The sick worry Jason had felt earlier doubled, a sharp cold feeling in his chest seeping across his ribcage as they threw caution to the wind and ran, bursting into the cave.

Jason had been expecting more destruction. The unchanged nature of the room before them chilled him more than the worry he’d felt. There should have been a fight, things broken, shattered, supplies scattered all over the place.

The only thing Jason could find crashed to the ground was his own brother. Dick lay there, just stirring from whatever had knocked him out. Mindbender stood over him, Damian cradled in his arms. Jason couldn’t see his face but his youngest brother seemed to be conscious as he struggled against the other man’s hold.

“Mindbender!” Bruce shouted.

The man looked up at Bruce and his eyes narrowed with irritation. He glanced exactly once at Damian with a possessive look, like he was considering his idea to ‘take him with him’, before returning his attention to the vigilantes who’d entered.

Something about that look told Jason that if they gave him even a moment Mindbender would make good on that idea. He charged forward, ignoring Bruce’s call to wait. Stupid or no Jason was not going to risk losing Damian, not even for a moment.

“I’ve wasted too much time.” Mindbender hissed flinging a hand out towards them. “This should distract them—” Jason missed the rest of what he had to say as he staggered, his vision flashing with memories of a different time, a different place.

Talia was there and he was angry so angry. Her words were meant to pacify him, but that was the last thing he wanted. His anger was too strong, the hurt too deep for one woman’s words to soothe. He wanted to lash out to attack whatever was closest to him, and then he was standing once more in the cave.

His heart raced as the old anger conflicted with the peace he’d come to associate with now. Everything inside him was churning making him want to throw up. The old memories mixing with new like outdated milk dumped into hot coffee creating a sickening blend.

In front of him Dick was dragging himself to his feet, his eyes locked on something behind Jason. He turned and saw baggy eye print disappearing back down the tunnel they’d come in from.

“Don’t let him get away!” Dick yelled stumbling forward, gathering speed gradually as his footing returned to him.

Bruce and Tim still seemed to be trying to pull themselves from whatever memory Minbender had dropped them in, they looked about as good as Jason felt. Someone was missing, Jason’s fuzzy mind slowly counted the members of his family, starting as he realized that he couldn’t remember seeing Damian since surfacing from the memory. Which meant Damian might be with Mindbender. His feet tripped forward, dizziness catching his feet as blood rushed to his head, like he’d stood too fast after sitting for a long while.

He froze, his balance unsteady as he tried to catch his breath. Dick was still moving, running past Bruce and Tim who spurned into action as he past them all three disappearing into the darkness of the adjoining tunnel after Mindbender. Jason tried to pull himself together, frustration blooming in his chest at how badly the memory was affecting him. It was only a memory, something long gone. He’d moved past it, so why had it stuck him in his tracks?

A sob echoed through the cave. For a moment Jason thought it had come from himself, but it wasn’t sadness he was feeling from his memories, it was a burning anger he couldn’t shake. He turned again and spotted what his memory frazzled eyesight had glossed over earlier, the corner of cape peeking out from behind the medical gurney.

He discovered Damian laying behind it, curled around himself, head buried in his knees, his entire body shaking. If it hadn’t already happened that day Jason would have mistaken his little brother for having fear toxin in his system.

As it was, he had no idea what to do. Jason could count the number of times he’d seen Damian this freaked out on one hand. Most had been due to some kind of mind altering substance. He knelt down next to his brother and tentatively reached a hand out to Damian’s shoulder, “Damian, hey. It’s ok. He’s gone.”

His brother didn’t even stir. Jason tried again, “Come on, Kiddo. It’s not that bad.” He urged, moving his hand to tilt Damian’s head up and get an idea of what was going on. Damian looked right through him. It was as if he was seeing something besides Jason in front of him.

Jason wondered if he was stuck in a memory. He had no idea what had happened before they’d arrived but it was obvious Mindbender had been screwing with his brothers. Even so, Mindbender was gone, and everyone else had recovered fine. Was it possible he’d done something different to Damian, or was there something else at play? Could it be lingering effects of the fear toxin or even Damian’s concussion?

His brother allowed Jason to pull him into a sitting position and check for further injuries. He was silent aside from the occasional sob that caught in his chest, being cut off before it could develop further. It was that very thing that bothered Jason the most. This wasn’t a simple memory playing like a movie reel for Damian, something had changed.

It didn’t seem like he’d acquired any new injuries since Jason had last seen him, but the amount of blood spotting the back of the bandage on his head worried him. The scratch he’d gotten from Burt’s gun should have stopped bleeding by now, but when Jason brushed it with a finger his glove came away stained. He pulled the soiled gloves from his hands and tossed them aside.

He moved his attention back to Damian, cupping his face in his hands. “Alright, Tater Tot, look at me.” He said his voice gentle. “I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but I need to you to snap out of it.”

Damian’s cheeks were cold to the touch, or maybe it was just how hot Jason’s hands were from the gloves, but after a moment his little brother frowned, a hand reaching up to pull one of Jason’s away.

“Grayson?”

“Not quite.” Jason said, relieved at least that his brother had spoken.

Damian looked him over, head to bent knees, still seeming to be looking partially through him. Then something caught his attention deeper into the cave. His eyes went wide and his breath caught. The next instant he flung himself forward, his arms snaking around Jason’s torso in a terrified grip.

“Hey, hey, kiddo. What’s gotten into you?” Jason asked, pausing only a moment before wrapping his arms around Damian.

“It’s her. She’s angry with me. I failed.” Damian’s words were muffled into Jason’s shirt.

“Who? Who’s angry? Damian, tell me what you’re seeing so I can help.” Jason wanted to pull back, but he was afraid Damian might bolt if he did that. Instead he wrapped his arms gingerly around his brother, careful not to spook him further.

“Mother.” Damian’s arms tightened around him, “She wants me to go back with her. Don’t make me go back, Todd. Don’t let her take me.”

Of course. If it wasn’t Jason remembering Talia, it was Damian. The woman still had her claws in them both even now. Not that he had time to contemplate the implications beyond that. He still had Damian to worry about. “Talia’s not here, whatever you’re seeing isn’t real.”

Damian let his grip loosen but he didn’t let go. “I keep hearing her. She’s in my head Todd. Make it stop.”

Jason would end up here, with Damian like this. Because he was such an expert on all things screwy memory related. He had to hold back a snort, he’d spent how long with no memories, no self, no nothing? At the very least he could relate to wanting to get away from the voices in his head.

“I’ll do my best.” He said. “But we’ll have to get you upstairs first. This cave’s got too much of a negative vibe going on right now.”

The cave didn’t have a vibe, negative or not, but Damian seemed to accept his words. He’d probably only half heard them anyway. No, Jason had said it because he didn’t want Damian still there if Bruce and the others brought Mindbender back in the cave. The creep was too focused on Damian, and who knew how long Tim’s device was going to hold out, or even if it would work at all.

That didn’t even begin to consider what Damian would do to Mindbender the moment he pulled himself together.

Jason collected Damian into his arms as he stood, and wondered at how comfortable it felt to carry his little brother. He was getting used to this, he thought with a start. Was this how it was for Dick all the time? Not that he carried Damian very often, despite the events of the past few days Damian did not take well to manhandling. It was something else.

The warm protective feeling in Jason’s chest was what made him wonder. It was strange, his emotions were far from the gentle happy brotherly kind, but under the turmoil there was a peace, and an understanding that as ill equipped as he felt, he could still do this. Still take care of Damian somehow.

Damian released his grip on Jason and pushed at his chest. “I can walk.”

Jason simply adjusted his grip to hold him better, “I know.” He said. “Doesn’t mean I’m going to put you down. Who knows what you might run into seeing shadows and fake pictures of your mom. You’re not seeing two of me are you?” he asked mostly to keep Damian distracted as he made his way to the computer and turned off the cave’s safety protocols.

“Not right now.” Damian grumbled as Jason fiddled with the computer finally hitting the right sequence.

It felt like the entire room heaved a sigh of relief as the metal doors slid open around them. The elevator was moving at once, rumbling down into the cave. Jason was halfway there before Alfred sprang out, eyes flashing around the room.

“What’s going on down here?” The worry was evident in his voice as he looked Jason and Damian over.

Damian squirmed in Jason’s arms, managing to turn himself to address Alfred. “Pennyworth.” He said as if he were relieved to have a second solid person to latch onto, and a real task to accomplish. “Mindbender was here. Father and the others have gone after him. Please tell Todd I am fine and can walk on my own.”

“Don’t.” Jason said. “He’s recovering from an attack, and I think he hurt his head again.” He explained to the stunned Butler. “I’m taking him upstairs so he can rest.” He directed the last word at Damian who responded with his typical -tt- of disapproval.

As difficult as Damian was being, Jason was thankful for it. Distraction and outside stimulation were the best ways to help get him over whatever Mindbender had done to him. A quick glance at his brother’s face told him that despite his protests he was still struggling, his eyes hadn’t yet lost the clouded look Jason had found him with, and when he wasn’t speaking he was holding tightly onto Jason. He’d wrapped one arm around Jason’s neck like a safety line.

Alfred narrowed his eyes at them, locking onto Damian’s bandage for a moment before glancing at the computer. “I believe that is a sufficient explanation for now.” He moved past them to the medical area, quickly finding what he was looking for and returning to them, pressing a wad of gauze into Jason’s hand. “I’m afraid I must side with Jason tonight. Allow him to take you upstairs to rest. I will report to you both the moment Masters Bruce, Dick, and Tim return.”

“You planning to stay down here and keep an eye on the comms?” Jason asked.

Alfred nodded, “Indeed, since it seems I’m the only one responsible enough for it.” He pointed the words at Damian who pressed himself closer to Jason.

He had to hold back a smile at Damian’s muttering of, “It wasn’t my fault this time.”

The urge to smile disappeared when Damian tensed again, his arm around Jason tightening noticeably, his eyes pressing closed against whatever new vision had appeared. A firm reminder that the visions of Talia hadn’t stopped even if Damian had been distracted for a moment. Jason tugged him a little closer before nodding once at Alfred, “I’ll leave you to it then.”

By the time he got Damian upstairs and into his room, his brother had seemed to lose himself mostly into the memory again, muttering every so often about his mother. He was so distracted Jason managed to replace the bandage on his head, pull both his brother’s boots off, and get his vest removed before he seemed to notice what was happening.

“I’m fine.” He said a tremor in his voice.

“Right, and I’m the Easter Bunny. Lay down. Sleep is the only thing I’ve found that helps.” Jason pointed at Damian’s bed and the boy obliged him without complaint. He settled himself in the bed but hesitated in laying down. “I don’t believe I can sleep just yet. Read to me?”

Jason hummed considering the request before moving to Damian’s bookshelves. “Something you’ve read or something new?” he asked.

“New. I don’t want my mind to wander.”

He looked over the shelf looking for familiar titles, before he found one, The Princess Bride. A present from Stephanie if he remembered correctly, and one Damian had taken only because Dick had elbowed him into it.

“Have you read this one yet?” he asked pulling it out to show to Damian.

At his brother’s denial Jason dragged Damian’s chair over by his bed and sat in it. Damian laid down at last as Jason began to read. He was halfway through the first chapter when Damian’s eyes began to droop, and has just started the second when his brother finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic just seems to keep growing. I'd planned for a lot more to happen in this chapter and then Jason kicked his way in and changed my whole idea. Maybe someday I'll get back to switching pov's during a chapter, but that day is not today.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. : )


	9. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Jason both take care of Damian and end up arguing over the best way to do it.

They’d been too slow. Dick wanted to hit something as he, Bruce, and Tim fanned out across the area where the cave access tunnel let out. It was essentially an extra wide alley, sandwiched between two old warehouses.  It should be easy to find someone there, but from the luck they were having Mindbender had somehow managed to disappear.

He was still trying to shake off the raw emotions he’d been dropped into. Seeing his parent’s deaths again in stark clarity, like a movie playing before his eyes had unnerved him. That paired with the blinding pain of having his mind invaded had knocked him out for a few minutes.

Few as they’d been, Mindbender had accomplished a lot in those minutes. Damian. Dick had left him to fend for himself against Mindbeder’s probing. He saw his little brother again, the moment he’d come to. Eye’s wide and panicked as he faced a memory Dick didn’t have enough information to even begin to fathom.

The only thing he’d wanted to do was get his hands on Mindbender and make him pay for everything he’d done so far. Instead he’d let him get away. Let his fuzzy mind trip him up, let his emotions make him slow. 

“No sign of him.” Tim said returning to Dick’s side. “What about you?”

“Nothing.” Dick answered.   

“Maybe Bat—” Tim stopped as Bruce approached face solemn. “Never mind. What now?”

Bruce looked them over for a moment before answering. “Now we head back. See how Jason and Damian are doing, seal this entrance, and come up with a plan.”

“You don’t have a plan already? Shocker.” Dick deadpanned.

“I’ve got an idea, it needs some work. And time.” Dick couldn’t see it behind the cowl but he was sure Bruce had raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to attempt another joke.

He didn’t.

He wasn’t in the mood to joke. Jason and Damian were still back at the cave and they had nothing to bring them but bad news. Dick knew that the moment they arrived Bruce would demand an account of what happened. Dick didn’t want to waste time with an explanation that would only satisfy Bruce by half. No, he wanted to find Damian and Jason. His hope was that Jay had stayed back to take care of Damian, but he worried about what memory Mindbender had done to him.

Dick’s trip down memory lane had been bad enough, and he’d had years to come to terms with his parent’s deaths. But Jay? Jason had been through so much. Had so many terrible things hidden away in his past that had pulled him away from his family.

It had taken a while, but Jason had started closing that gap at last. Dick couldn’t articulate how happy he was when he realized Jay’s visits had grown in frequency. He’d drop by the manor or Dick’s apartment, and had (in Dick’s mind) made a concentrated effort to run into them during patrol. Even their team up from a few nights before had been more of a meet up before Mindbender had arrived.  

Which meant he was worried. More than worried in fact. The wrong memory could send Jay running or rile him up the wrong way. Dick trusted him, but even _he_ was still shaking off the feelings from earlier. If Mindbender had chosen a memory close to when Jason was brought back, or heaven forbid the memory of his death. Well Dick wasn’t sure how his brother would react. What he was sure of was the fact that he wanted to be there for him if Jason needed him.

Tim hadn’t said as much, but a sidelong glance at him while they trudged back through the tunnel told Dick that his brother was anxious to get back as well. Of course, the tension in Red Robins shoulders could also be due to whatever memory he’d had to face.

They were going to need some serious therapy after all this Mindbender stuff played out.

Alfred turned from his place at the computer at the sound of footsteps and frowned at them. “You had no luck catching the villain then?” He asked walking over. He studied them individually, searching for further injuries.  

Bruce shook his head, pulling back his cowl. “I don’t know how he did it, but he’s managed to disappear.” He turned to Dick opened his mouth then closed it in a frown. “You didn’t tear your stitches did you?”

His hand went to the bandage at his neck, he’d completely forgotten about the wound. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d torn stitches in the heat of the moment, but he really hoped he hadn’t. That would mean more time between him and being able to check on his family. “I don’t think so.” He said.

“Alfred, would you mind?” Bruce motioned Dick to a chair.

As much as Dick didn’t want the quick check up, he knew he wasn’t getting out of it. He only relented when he spied Jason stepping down into the cave a wad of gauze in his hand. Relief at just seeing him had Dick sitting down in the chair. The moment he was seated Alfred began carefully peeling back the bandage on his neck.

 Bruce positioned himself in front of Dick and said, “Tell me what happened.”

“I should have known this was a trap, you always want info first.” Dick winced slightly as Alfred tugged the last of the bandage off, its sticky end pulling away with a snap. “I don’t have a whole lot for you B, Mindbender knocked me out pretty early in the game.”

Bruce nodded, crossing his arms. “Just tell me what you do know.”

Jason finished putting up the gauze and walked over by them, glancing once at Dick’s neck before turning his attention to his brother’s face. Dick wondered briefly how bad his injury looked to everyone else. For gunshot wounds this one was pretty mild, which Dick was grateful for. Alfred hadn’t tutted at him yet so he was fairly confident the stitches were intact.

“His attack came pretty quick, but I did manage to get some info out of him. It seems Mindbender’s into information gathering.” Dick started.

“That much was obvious, what next.”

Dick rolled his eyes at Bruce. “You asked for everything I knew. I’m giving it to you, have a shred of patience.” Bruce’s glare made him clear his throat and continue, “Last time we met he got the idea that Damian has some pretty sensitive knowledge in his head. Namely the knowledge of where to find the League of Assassins.”

Bruce’s eyes narrowed. “And?”

“And he wants to sell it off. Apparently he’s already got a bidder.” Dick said as Alfred finished re-bandaging his neck. “I don’t know what, if anything he got from Damian today.” Dick looked away from Bruce. “Like I said, I was out.”

“Then I’ll need to speak to Damian.” Bruce decided as if he weren’t already planning to speak with his youngest.

“If I might interrupt.” Alfred said. “Master Damian is currently resting, during the fight he further injured his head.”

Jason nodded. “I just got him to sleep.”  

Now Bruce turned to regard Jason. “Alright. I can talk to him later, when he’s feeling better.” He looked his second oldest up and down for a moment before, “Are you alright?”

Dick studied Jason’s face, looking for any signs that he might still be shaken from their encounter. He seemed calm enough. His posture relaxed, thumbs hooked in his pockets, one foot kicked back, but Dick knew Jason could fake ease well enough. They all could when they needed to. He just wasn’t sure if Jason needed to today.

“I’m fine. You?” he raised an eyebrow at Bruce.

“I’ll be better when this mess is sorted. Speaking of which,” Bruce stepped back to angle himself at everyone in the room. “Tim and I are going to begin work on a more stable sonic device to inhibit Mindbender. Jason, I need you to help Alfred sort through the documents we brought back. Dick, you rest for a little while. We’ll call you if we need you.”

“I can help.” Dick said standing. “I’m not even that hurt.”

“I’d rather you keep an eye on Damian. Mindbender spent the most time with him today and I need you there to—”

“See what Mindbender got out of him. Right.” Dick scowled.

“No.” Bruce shook his head, “Having Mindbender in your head is not exactly a pleasant experience, I want you to make sure he’s ok.”

“No it’s not.” Dick agreed. “Call me if you need me.”

He made his way directly to Damian’s room, and found a chair already set up beside the kid’s bed. He moved the novel off it before sitting down himself. Damian was curled on his side, wrapped around his cat. Alfred, Dick remembered with a smile. The animal opened its eyes at Dick and regarded him for a moment before yawning and closing them.

Dick was happy to note Damian seemed to be sleeping peacefully. It was a positive change from how he’d slept earlier that day while recovering from the fear gas. Dick’s breath caught, had it only been earlier that day? So much had happened it felt like a week had gone by yet impossibly they were in the same day. Well the very late hours of the night at least.

He brushed a hand through Damian’s hair careful of his bandage, a few days and he was already incredibly fond of the boy. As angry and tough as he acted Dick could tell Damian was all heart. He was so earnest about everything. From the way he’d told Dick straight out how he felt even thinking he was a vision, to how he’d apologized later.

There was a bittersweet feeling in Dick’s chest. He wanted so badly to know what it was about himself that made Damian so earnest towards him. He certainly didn’t act that way around everyone else. If only he could remember their time together, remember what was just facts spinning around in his head, then maybe he’d get it. Or maybe he wouldn’t. Either way he knew the memories would help fill the blank hole in him.

* * *

 

Damian’s stirring woke Dick up. He’d fallen asleep halfway on the bed, his head pillowed on his arms. A tiny moan escaped his brother and Dick shot up worry speeding his heart, “Damian, hey. You ok?”  

His brother peeled one eye open then the other. “You’re not, Todd.” Damian’s voice was hoarse with sleep as he frowned up at Dick, obviously confused to see him there instead of Jason.

Dick gave him a small smile, “No, I’m not. B has him helping in the cave. How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Damian said. “What about you?”

“I’m ok.” Dick answered.

Damian nodded, “What happened to Mindbender?”

Dick frowned and couldn’t help but think he’d mirrored Bruce’s from earlier pretty well. “Got away. But B has a plan. Or at least he thinks he does.”

“Then what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be helping him?” There was an urgency to the question that made Dick wonder if he’d done the wrong thing by listening to Bruce and keeping an eye on Damian. Should he be helping? He certainly wanted to, but he also wanted to make sure his youngest brother was ok. The panic and worry on Damian’s face from Mindbender’s attack wouldn’t leave Dick’s thoughts, he had to make sure everything was alright.

“I’m checking on you. I wanted to make sure you were ok after the fight. MB hit you pretty hard.” He said.

Dick was expecting Damian to nod, or deny anything was wrong. Instead he asked, “Why did you leave?”

 “I—” Grayson paused, having no idea how to answer the question the right way. He didn’t want to make Damian think he didn’t care, but he wanted to convey his real reason. He decided to go with the truth. “I don’t know. I acted on instinct.”

He knew the moment he said them that the words were wrong. He could see the change on his brother’s face. His eyes widened a millimeter and his cheeks reddened slightly. The tentative trust they’d built collapsed as Damian took his words to have a different meaning than Dick had meant.

Before he could register what he was doing Damian was sitting up, then scrambling over the edge of the bed away from Dick, “I have to go.” He said lamely. Dick didn’t stop him, he should have, but he had a feeling he’d only make things worse at this point. So he let Damian shoot past and around him and out the door.

* * *

Jason was on his way to check on Damian and see if Dick wanted to switch out when a tiny figure barreled into him. Jason caught Damian, because that was who it obviously was, by the arms and stopped his forward momentum.

“Whoa, slow down there Dami. What are you doing out of bed?” Jason asked stepping back to get a look at his brother.

Damian brushed quickly at his face before looking up at Jason. “Hide me.”

What? Jason thought. “What?” He asked. Left field was Damian properly answering his question, this? This was far left field.

“I don’t want him to see me like this. So hide me, or let go.” There was a stubborn tilt to Damian’s voice and Jason decided he’d play along for now. Something had happened between him and Dick and Jason had a sinking suspicion he knew what it was.

“Alright, don’t get your tights in a twist. Come on, we’ll head to my room. Dick won’t look for you there. In fact, he probably wouldn’t find you in any of your usual hiding places right now anyway, with the memory loss thing and all.”

Damian’s hands crumpled to fists at his side and Jason knew he’d hit the issue with those words. He winced. “Sorry. Too soon. Come on.”

Damian made a beeline for Jason’s bed when they got to his room and Jason followed suit, sitting next to him. “Spill it Beanpole. What’s bothering you?”

If Damian was irritated by the new nickname he didn’t show it, instead he twiddled his thumbs in his lap. “Nothing.” He lied.

Jason raised an eyebrow at him. “Tell me, what universe have you fallen into that makes you think that excuse even has a chance of working after the stunt you pulled in the hall?”

Damian scowled at him, hands dropping to the sides of the bed to grip it instead. “None. I just didn’t want you to ask. Can’t we read or something?”

“Nope. Not until you tell me what happened.” Jason said.

“I can only assume you already know what happened. Grayson and I had a disagreement. _Again_.” The last word was tinged with bitterness.

“So you’ve been disagreeing a lot lately, so what. That makes sense, you guys have a kind of culture gap thing going. Except this is a memory gap. You’ll be fine with a little time.”

Damian’s eyebrows furrowed at him. “Culture gaps can be filled with information. In our case information does little good.”

“You got me there. But the fight isn’t what’s bothering you.”

Damian shot him a look. “You’d make a terrible counselor. You’re too blunt.”

Jason shrugged. “I didn’t say I was a good one. I’m new to this whole bedside manner thing. Usually I just crack death jokes, speaking of, there’s got to be something here. I mean two dead robins discussing the one who faked his death? Give me five minutes to think and I’ll have comedy gold.”

 His brother sighed and Jason noticed his fists tighten on the covers. “I keep wondering if things shouldn’t have been switched. If I’d lost my memories of Grayson instead.”

“Dick would never let that happen.” Jason said.

“Why?” Damian asked. “It makes the most sense. I have the least to lose.”

Jason shifted so he could look Damian directly in the eyes. “Don’t. Don’t you ever think that. You of all people should realize how important he is to you.”

Damian pressed his lips together, his knuckles white with how tightly he was gripping the comforter. “Tt.” It was halfhearted. “Of course I know.”

“Then you also know that if you’d lost your memories of him you would be a completely different person. Right?” Jason prodded.

Damian was silent for a long while before nodding. “Todd.” He stopped again, hands slowly letting go of the comforter before gripping it again. “Grayson hasn’t changed at all. Has he?”

Jason’s heart lurched. Had Damian just asked him what he thought he did? “Damian.” He ran a hand through his hair wishing he had a cigarette to take the edge off this conversation. “You being here did change him. You’ve made an impact on all of us.”

Damian’s tone turned suddenly defiant, he tilted his chin up at Jason. “Prove it.”

“Think about tonight.” Jason said and paused, already regretting what he had to say. But Damian had asked for it. “Dick bolted the second he was awake. He left you, left everyone really, but you mostly.” The realization hit Jason then, like a kick in his gut. Dick _had_ left. Left Damian panicked, hurting, and alone.

Damian had drawn in on himself, the comforter dragged up onto his lap, reliving those moments. Jason continued, “Would the Dick of last week have left you? No, he puts family first. Do you know where he really started to practice that? With you, when he had you as his Robin. He finally got the chance to do things his way, and family first came from that.”

Jason put a hand on Damian’s shoulder and tugged him into a hug, “You’re important Dami. Don’t ever doubt it, ok?”

Damian nodded into his chest his hands still holding onto the blanket. After a moment he spoke again. “What were you doing in the hall? Grayson said you were assisting Father.” his voice was trembling slightly, an attempt to cover the emotions he was trying to deal with.

“I finished helping Bruce and came up to check on you and Dick.” Jason pulled back and looked him over. “What do you say I go grab S. Morgenstern's tale of love and high adventure and we continue reading it for a while?”

“S who?” Damian frowned.

Jason rolled his eyes at him. “The Princess Bride. The book we started a few hours ago? Don’t tell me you were zonked out for the whole thing.”

Damian shifted his eyes away from him. “I was trying to focus more on your voice. It kept me grounded in reality. What you were reading ended up being of little consequence.”

“Oh come on. I picked that one specifically because I knew you’d enjoy it. Now we’re going to have to start at the beginning again.”

Damian sighed. “And I thought you’d picked it to irritate me. Brown thought it was funny giving me a romance.”

“Kid. You have obviously never read it then. Sword fights, corrupt kings, people coming back to life. It’s right up your alley. Give me a minute and I’ll prove it.” Jason said hopping off the bed.

* * *

Dick was still in Damian’s room when Jason arrived. He looked up from the chair he’d never seemed to be able to bring himself out of and frowned. “Jay? Where’s Damian?”

“Hiding. From you.” Jason’s tone was cold.

“Hiding? What did I do? Damian and I were getting along today, and then suddenly he’s mad again.” 

Jason crossed his arms. “I don’t know Dick. Let’s start with leaving him to face Mindbender’s attack alone.”

Dick stood bristling at Jason’s words. What was with this sudden hostility? He’d done what he thought was best, and that was go after Mindbender. Damian would have done the same if their positions were switched, right? “That’s not fair. I wanted to catch Mindbender.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you left Damian.” Jason accused. “After what happened the other day you had to have known MB was going to screw with him the worst, and you still ran out of here.”

“I didn’t leave him. You were here.” Dick pulled his shoulders back and frowned at Jason.  

“Only because I was stunned by Mindbender’s attack.” His brother glared. “Dick, I thought he’d taken him, grabbed Damian and run. I thought that’s why you bolted. But you saw him, didn’t you? Laying there trapped in his own mind and you _left_.”

“Damian wanted him caught, more than anything. I thought it was for the best. Besides.” Dick snapped. “He’s done nothing but attack us and I wanted to get him.”

“For you, or for Damian?” Jason asked.

“For all of us.”

His brother shook his head. “You don’t understand, Dick. The old you wouldn’t have left Damian, not if you’d seen what I saw, even if it was ‘for all of us’.”

Dick pressed his lips together. This was it, the real discrepancy between him with his memories of Damian and without them. He didn’t understand what Jason was talking about. He couldn’t comprehend himself not charging after the man that had attacked his family. But something inside nagged at him, telling him that he should have stayed with Damian.

“You’re right. I don’t understand. I did what I thought was best.”

Jason frowned at him, “You don’t realize what it did to Damian. The kid thinks he’s worthless, that the whole time you two were together meant nothing to you and everything to him. I get that you don’t remember him, and I’m not trying to hold you to that same standard, but Dick didn’t you see him?”

Dick swallowed, of course he had. Then he’d made the conscious decision to run. Telling himself it was to catch a bad guy was sugar coating the truth. Dick had been afraid. He had no idea what to do for Damian. He should, and that bothered him to no end. He was the older brother. He could take care of Jason and Tim just fine. So why couldn’t he figure out Damian?

He’d tried, all he’d been doing was trying. Every attempt felt like it got shot down. That didn’t mean Dick was going to stop trying, even when he screwed up. Damian was just a kid after all. A kid that acted like he was an adult, who’d toughed his way through the past few days. A kid who’d effectively lost his big brother. Dick couldn’t get Damian’s face out of his head. The way he’d looked so betrayed at Dick, it was like the first night. He’d watched the change come over him, the realization dawning that Dick wasn’t Dick despite what he’d said earlier in the cave.

“You did.” Jason gasped noting Dick’s pause.

“It was a mistake. Jason, tell me where Damian is. I’ll apologize, set this straight.” Dick said.

Jason shook his head, “I can’t do that Dick. Damian’s been through enough these past few days, I won’t risk you hurting him anymore right now. He’s barely holding together as it is.”

“That’s not your call. This is between Damian and I.” Dick told him.

“No. Not this time.” Jason set his jaw tight. “Until I say so, you’re not spending any unmoderated time with Damian.”

What was this, a custody battle? How could Dick make Jason understand he’d meant no harm? “Jason. Don’t. Don’t you try to shut me out. I screwed up, yes, but that doesn’t mean I did it on purpose. Do you think I’m trying to hurt him? I’m not. You try losing your memories of one person and not hurt them somehow.”

Jason shook his head again. “I’m sorry, Dick. Really. But I think this is for the best. Leave Damian alone for a while and we’ll see how he feels.” With that Jason snatched Damian’s copy of The Princess Bride off the nightstand and strolled out leaving Dick dumbstruck in Damian’s room for the second time that night.


	10. Sharks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damian learns that Jason's banned Dick and he from spending time alone together and decides to do something about it.

“Then the sharks went mad. All around—” Jason stopped reading as his stomach bubbled into a whale call. Damian snickered and Jason glared at him, setting the book face down in his lap. “I say we take a food break.”

“We can eat later. I want to know about the sharks.” Damian’s voice was on the verge of whiny, he tried to keep it out but he’d somehow found himself engrossed in the book. Why Brown had neglected to tell him that The Princess Bride was so exciting he had no idea. When he next saw her he’d have to ask her if she’d even bothered reading it.

“You already know they don’t eat Buttercup.” Jason pointed out.

“That is not the point, Todd. What is, is that food can wait until I’ve discovered why the sharks don’t eat her.” Damian said crossing his arms. At that moment, his stomach grumbled and he gaped down at it. “Traitor.” He grumbled.   

Jason grinned. “I think your stomach begs to differ.” He slipped the bookmark back in the book and got off the bed. “Come on short stack. We’ll take the book with us.”

Damian sighed, he was hungry. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d sat down to eat since this whole thing happened. There’d been snacks and Alfred bringing things by, but nothing beyond that. He hadn’t had time with everything that had been going on.

Still he hesitated. The book had been a good distraction, and leaving Todd’s room meant he might run into Grayson. It wasn’t that he was avoiding Grayson. He _wasn’t_ avoiding Grayson. Damian didn’t avoid things, especially not his brother.

He just wasn’t sure what to say to him. He’d run out at the first sign of trouble. He’d been trying to fix things between them and only messed up further. Jason had helped ease some of his fears, Grayson was indeed not himself without his memories of him. Damian was just hesitant to face his brother again.

“You coming, or am I going to find out what happens to Buttercup while eating a sandwich by myself?” Jason asked from the door.

Damian hopped off the bed. “Don’t you dare.” He said racing ahead of Jason who ruffled his hair as he passed. Damian threw an ineffective swat back at Jason but didn’t stop his momentum.

“Oh, I’ll dare.” Jason said chasing after him.

They chased each other down the hall and both slid to the stop by the kitchen. Jason caught Damian by the waist and lifted him, kicking and squirming. He spun him around and set him outside the kitchen before stepping in himself with a, “Ha! Made it first.”

“Manhandling is cheating, Todd.” Damian accused with half a grin.

“Cheating at what exactly?” Both turned their attention to the kitchen’s other occupant, Bruce.

He was leaning against the bar, an open bottle of water before him. He looked tired but nothing more than usual.

“Our race to the kitchen.” Jason answered.

Bruce smiled at them. “If you’re feeling up to a race then perhaps you could stay for a few questions about the fight earlier?”

Damian stepped around Jason. “Of course.”

“I’ll make us some grub.” Jason said sneaking off to the side while Damian took one of the barstools by his father.

Damian tried his best to convince his father that all Mindbender had gotten from him this time was inconsequential memories. Sometime while he was talking Jason slipped a sandwich in front of both Bruce and Damian. He was too hungry to ignore it until they’d finished talking so he answered the rest of the questions between bites.

When his father seemed satisfied he slid his barstool back with a nod. “Then all we have to worry about is finding him before he finds us again.”

Jason frowned at him. “You’re not headed back down to the cave are you? It’s already morning. You should probably try to get some sleep.”

“I can sleep later. I need to make sure the compromised entrance is properly closed off.” He stood taking his now empty water bottle and remaining half sandwich. “I only meant to come up here for a short break.”

“One Pennyworth required, I’m sure.” Damian said.

Bruce smiled at him. “Indeed.” He almost turned to go before stopping. “Have either of you two seen Dick? Tim was looking for him. I thought he’d be sleeping or with you.”

“He didn’t return to help you in the cave?” Damian asked shooting a look at Jason suspicion easing into his voice.

Bruce shook his head. Damian’s frown at Jason deepened.

“You told me he’d gone back downstairs.” He said.

Jason shrugged. “It was an assumption. He didn’t say what he was going to do when I left him.”

Worry tickled Damian’s chest. “Todd, what did you and Grayson speak about when you saw him?”

Jason hesitated until Bruce gave him a curious look as well. “You. How he left after Mindbender’s attack.” He said.

“That’s not all. What else?” Damian pressed. Jason had been too cheery when he’d returned with the book earlier. Too eager to push aside Damian’s questions on what had taken him, and how Grayson was. Damian had attributed it to Jason being sensitive to Damian himself (not that he needed coddling). Now he wasn’t so sure.

His brother crossed his arms. “I told him that you and he need to stop spending time alone together. At least until he gets his memories back.”

“That was not your call Todd.” Damian jumped off his own stool. Anger and worry mixed together leaving him unsure if he wanted to yell at Jason or run off to find Grayson. “Grayson and I need to be together.”

“I didn’t say you two couldn’t spend time together. Just not by yourselves.” Jason set his jaw. “Too many misunderstandings have happened. You’re both only getting hurt this way.”

Damian narrowed his eyes at Jason, his worry about Dick too great to make him want to wait any longer. “We will discuss this later. For now I have to go make sure Grayson is ok. By _myself._ ”

He stormed out of the kitchen without waiting for either Jason or his father’s responses. This was his fault. He’d been too sensitive. He’d let his emotions get away with him too often over the past forty eight hours and it had created mess after mess.

Messes Todd had seen to clean up on his own. It wasn’t Jason’s fault. Damian wasn’t blaming him for assuming he should keep an eye on his brothers. If anything it was Damian’s fault. He had done this. He’d let himself break down too often. This is what happened when he let his emotions rule him, his family hurt for it.

 He was going to fix it, then he would remind himself at ever error, every wrong word, that Grayson would be back to normal soon enough. That he shouldn’t get so worked up. None of this should hurt the way it did.

~

Dick wasn’t sure how, but after Jason left he’d found himself on the manor’s roof. There was a large flat section he use to hide on as a kid, and still sometimes as an adult. This was one of those times. He was trying to let the morning air calm him. Trying to let it cool down the frustration and anger simmering inside of him. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. If he was being honest with himself he’d admit that part of what was bothering him so much was helplessness.

He wasn’t helpless. Yet he was. Jason had only been so persistent about Dick not seeing Damian because he was right. They did keep hurting each other. What kind of healing relationship was that? None. It was counterproductive, and might have lasting effects even after Dick got his memories back. He didn’t want that. So he was playing by Jason’s rule right now. As much as it irritated him to be strong armed into it, he knew it was for the best.

His eyes wandered the landscape below him, his brain calculating the distance and speed he’d need to dive safely from the roof. To catch a tree branch, or propel down the building. His feet itched for movement. He did better with his feet off the ground. He was more- he hated to even think it- grounded that way.

The wind caught his hair and Dick realized he’d stood up. As much of a relief as running would be, it wouldn’t help anything. He still had to come back and face reality. Even if it was a reality where he tried and tried only to fail. Fail at comforting his brother, fail at keeping his family together, fail at remembering.

Why. Couldn’t. He. Remember? It wasn’t fair. He’d been doing everything J’onn had said. He was spending time with Damian. He wasn’t trying to use facts to bring back memories. He wasn’t even trying to force the memories. At this point he wasn’t even sure if they were there at all. Wasn’t even sure he really knew the kid.

He stepped a little closer to the edge to look down at the garden below. He was so tired. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been sleeping. He’d gotten some with Damian before and after Mindbender had shown up. He was exhausted from the emotional toll losing his memories had taken on him.

“Grayson.” He turned to find Damian climbing onto the roof. Dick held up a hand in a wave.

Damian ignored his wave stalking towards him instead. Dick couldn’t read his face, it was a mess of emotion, tight, his brows crumpled in a v, his lips a line. He stopped a foot in front of Dick.

“You didn’t leave.” Damian’s voice held a tremble of uncertainty.

“No.” Dick trailed the word. “What’s up?”

“You fought with Todd.” Damian said. “Then Father said you hadn’t returned to the cave. I thought you might have left.”

Dick frowned at him. “Why would I have left?”

Damian gave him a look that Dick had no problem translating: Dick had done it before. Hadn’t he been thinking about running off just a few moments ago? He had a bad habit of running when he was having personal trouble. Criminals and chaos in the streets he could handle. Fighting with his family? Dick preferred peace. He hated seeing his family at odds with each other.

Dick sighed. “I’m not going to leave if that’s what your worried about.”

“Tt. I wasn’t.” Dick raised an eyebrow at him and Damian scowled. “Drake wanted to see you and I’m the most qualified to find you.”

“I came up here to clear my head a little bit. We’ve had it rough, haven’t we?” Dick asked.

Damian shifted, crossing his arms. “We’re fine.”

Dick let his features soften. “No, we’re not. I’m sorry for running off earlier. I didn’t mean to hurt you. If it’s not obvious I’m not myself.” He gave Damian a half smile.

Damian bit his lower lip, his defensive posture sinking a little. “I’m sorry too. I ran out on your today. I’ve been too emotional.”

“Damian, you haven’t been too emotional.” Dick took his brother’s arm. “I’ve told you, you’re perfectly ok. We haven’t had a break since this started. It makes sense we’d both be emotional.”

“I shouldn’t be. I keep hurting you, Jason too. Probably everyone else.” Damian said uncrossing his arms. Dick’s hands fell away and he stepped back, examining Damian. The kid looked up at him and frowned. “What?”

“It’s just.” Dick paused. “If anything Jay’s gotten more out of this than any of us. You should have heard him today, defending you.” Dick smiled. “He even banned me from being alone with you.”

“I know he did.” Damian scowled. “He’s not my father. He can’t do that.”

Dick chuckled. “That’s not my point. What I’m trying to say is that, maybe there’s some good in all this? We’ve had a hard time, but we’re both getting to know each other in a different way. And Jason’s finally stepping up. I think he’s really warmed to you.” Dick paused then, “That is, if he hadn’t before.”

Damian’s scowl faded as he considered Dick’s suggestion. “Perhaps.” He nodded then looked back at Dick. “So you’re not really mad about me leaving?”

Somehow they’d gotten back around to the whole leaving thing. Dick didn’t mind. He wanted to make sure Damian understood how he felt, how sorry he was. “Of course not. Do you forgive me for leaving?”

His brother nodded and Dick held his arms open. “Then let’s hug it out.” He said grinning.

Damian smiled and stepped into the hug. Dick lifted him up to snuggle his cheek against Damian’s and suddenly found himself somewhere else. The sun was high in the sky instead of just rising. Damian was in his Robin uniform, and Dick was wearing his Spyral gear. His chest was warm with joy. He’d missed his brother so much.

“Grayson?”

Dick blinked and he was back on the Manor’s roof. His cheeks were wet with tears he didn’t realize had slipped out. He set Damian down and grinned at him. His chest still warm and happy.

“Why are you crying?” Damian reached towards him and Dick took his brother’s hand his grin widening. Damian gave him a confused frown.

“I remembered something. It’s not much, more of a glimpse than anything, but it’s something.” He said. It was more than something. Dick held on to the memory like a lifeline. It was proof. Proof he wasn’t crazy. That the kid in front of him really truely meant something to him.

Realization slowly dawned on Damian. His frown slipping deeper before his eyes widened and a smile replaced it. “What did you remember?”

“It was a reunion. The first time you saw me after I faked my death. I was happy to see you. I’d missed you so much.” Dick said wiping at the tears still slipping from his eyes. He could still feel how happy he’d been, the memory mixing with how happy he was to remember a little bit about Damian.

He couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised when Damian stepped forward into another hug. Dick returned it lifting Damian up into his arms again pulling him close.

“Thank you.” Damian whispered arms tightening around him.

“No problem.” Dick said. “What do you say we go play a game? Bruce is still busy and Tim can handle whatever he needed me for on his own.”

Damian leaned back and shook his head. “Todd and I were reading The Princess Bride. Your welcome to join us if you’d like.”

Dick grinned at him. Of course they’d been reading. Dick should have guessed. “I love that book. Have you made it to the poison scene yet?”

Damian gave him a friendly scowl. “No. Has everyone read this book except for me?”

“Probably.” Dick said moving towards the edge of the roof to get them back inside.

“Are you sure you want to come? You and Todd are fighting.” Damian said.

“Jaybird and I fight a lot. We’ll get over it.” Dick told him.

~

They found Jason still in the kitchen nibbling at half his sandwich. He perked up when he saw Damian and Dick enter. “You found him.” He said.

“He did.” Dick smiled. “We thought it would be best to come find you.”

Jason stood, the sandwich forgotten. “Dick, you know I only said those things for Damian right?”

Dick nodded. “I know. It’s ok.”

“Good.” Jason nodded.

“I have invited Grayson to read with us.” Damian said. The way he said it sounded more like an explanation than a challenge, still Damian eyed Jason, waiting for his response.  

His brother smiled. “Excellent idea.” Jason tossed the book to Dick. “You want to get set up in my room? Damian and I will be right there.”

Dick caught it with a nod. “Sure. Don’t stay away too long or I might read ahead.”

Jason and Damian looked at each other for a moment after Dick left before Jason said. “Damian, I’m sorry.”

Damian narrowed his eyes at him. “You shouldn’t have banned him. I have a say in my life.”

Jason gulped. “I know. You have to understand, I thought it was for the best.”

He couldn’t stay mad at Todd for long. Not when he’d done so much for Damian since Grayson had lost his memories. Damian stepped around the bar and hugged Jason. “Don’t ever do that again. Or I might not forgive you.”

Jason returned the hug with a smile. “Next time I’ll include you in the discussion.”

Damian nodded into his chest. “Thank you Todd. For everything.” He meant it. He didn’t know what he would have done with Todd there for him. With Grayson having mostly forgotten him Damian didn’t have anyone to lean heavily on. Todd had filled that gap and he’d be forever grateful.

“Now. Let’s go find out what happens to Buttercup.” Jason said.

Dick was already sprawled on Jason’s bed when they arrived, book open in his lap as he read. Damian jumped onto the bed next to him hand splaying across the pages. “You weren’t supposed to start without us.”

Dick grinned at him. “I wasn’t reading ahead, only refreshing myself on the story.” As he said it Jason took his place on the bed sandwiching Damian between his two oldest brothers. He leaned back against the wall and took the book into his hands so all three could see it.

“I hope you had enough time to refresh then. I’m eager to see what happens next.”

They read together until Damian’s eyelids grew heavy, which didn’t take very long to happen. He hadn’t had much sleep and the events of the past day were catching up to him, draining him of the energy even to read.

“Todd.” He yawned. “You take over.”

Jason did and Damian found himself leaning on Dick, curling into him as his other brother’s voice washed over him lulling him better than any music could.

A hand brushed his head and Damian snuggled closer to Dick. “Don’t wake me. I’m sleeping.” He mumbled and Jason’s voice cut off.

Damian flopped a hand behind him at Jason, too tired to do much more and said. “You don’t stop. It’s relaxing.” Jason’s voice picked back up again with a light chuckle and Damian let himself fall asleep to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. I wrote and edited this chapter while exhausted. Pleeease tell me if you see any major errors and I'll clean them up the moment my brain is working again. Thanks!


	11. Overwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is ready to share his plan with everyone. Tim is tired, so very tired.

“I think he’s finally asleep.” Dick murmured glancing down at Damian. There was a tiny smile on the boy’s face that hadn’t left since they’d sat down to read. His long lashes brushed his cheeks, one of which was chubbily pressed against Dick’s chest in sleep.

Jason shifted on the other side of the bed, reaching over to set the book on a nightstand. “He’s been asleep.” He kept his tone low, but there was warmth in it.

Dick looked up with a grin. “I know, it’s just always good to make sure with kids.”

Jason frowned at him and Dick grimaced. “I said the wrong thing again?” Jason raised an eyebrow at Dick and he sighed. “I am trying. The words just slip out. I never mean to hurt him. Not now, not when I offered my memories to Mindbender.” 

His brother reached over and brushed a hand through the back of Damian’s hair. “I know. He knows too. Unfortunately that doesn’t stop the hurt.”

Dick nodded. He knew that, there was a difference between knowing and doing. He hoped he’d get the rest of his memories back soon. Until then he’d have to be careful what he said. “I’m sorry I got mad earlier.”

His brother ran his hand through Damian’s hair again. “Well.” Jason said, the ghost of a grin on his face. “You know what I always say. No blood no foul.”

“You have never once said that.” Dick rolled his eyes.

“I did too. Just now.” Jason winked at him.

Dick was feeling the pinpricks of his arm beginning to fall asleep and he shifted it behind Damian to tug his brother a little closer. Damian snuggled into Dick’s chest, loosening Jason’s hand and forcing him to readjust to keep running through Damian’s hair. 

Dick’s gaze trailed down to Damian. “How mad do you think I’ll be when I get all my memories back?”

He’d been mulling over that thought since they’d sat down. He kept going back to how happy he felt at seeing his little brother again. The emotion had been so strong, stronger than he remembered feeling when he’d told anyone else he was alive. He couldn’t figure out why he’d felt that way, he’d like to say it was how close they were, but there was a part of him that resisted believing that was the sole reason.

Missing that reason bothered him, but it didn’t make him worried. What did was the strength in the emotion. That alone had amplified his feelings for Damian. He didn’t want to let the kid out of his sight again just in case he got hurt or needed him. If he felt this way now, how much more protective must he be normally?

“At me or yourself?” Jason asked.

“Both.” It was the only answer Dick could give. He was already mad at himself. The guilt trip he was taking could be described as global. Every chance his brain got it kicked him for his stupidity reminding him that everything that had happened with Mindbender so far was his fault.

Jason hummed. “What do you think?”

Dick sighed. “Honestly? I’m sure I’d feel the same as I do now. Mad at myself for putting us in this situation, mad at you for the simple reason that I don’t like being bossed around by a younger brother,” He flashed a grin at Jason at this. “and happy that you took initiative. You were right to pull me back, even if I didn’t like to hear it.”

“Could I ask you to say that again for the camera? It’s not often I get told I was right.” Jason tugged his phone out of his pocket and pretended to aim the camera at Dick.

He could have said something funny, but this moment felt important to Dick. He was proud of Jason. Coming back from chasing Mindbender he’d been so worried about his brother. Worried he’d find Jason fallen back into old memories or worse, not find Jason at all. Instead he’d found a brother who’d pushed aside his own demons to deal with those of a child. A brother who’d been more responsible than Dick himself had, and continued to show it through the long night.

“You’re a good brother.” Dick said.

Jason’s eyes widened for a moment before he bit his cheek and turned his attention back down at Damian. “Only because the situation demanded it.”

Dick shook his head. “Not true. You’ve always been a good brother. I haven’t told you that enough, I’m sorry.”

Dick watched Jason swallow and his cheek dented again as he bit back down. “Hmm.” He said.

“Grayson’s right.” Damian’s voice was muffled into Dick’s shirt. He shifted, lifting his head from Dick’s side to give Jason what Dick guessed was a glare, except that his eyes were still droopy with sleep, so the glare came out half formed and his frown was more of a pout.

“You _are_ a good—” He yawned, further ruining his glare. “-brother. Accept it and let me go back to sleep. All this chatter is too loud.” With that he let his head fall back against the pillow he’d made of Dick’s chest.

* * *

 

Tim’s back was sore from leaning over the worktable for too many hours in a row. Common sense said to stand up and walk it off. Instead he took another sip from his cooling coffee and adjusted the light so it shone better on the circuits he was soldering.

At this point he’d fallen into a rhythm. Finish one blocking device, start on the next. He and Bruce had spent the first half of the night perfecting his rudimentary sonic device. Very quickly they’d managed to minimize it and create a portable version that could be pinned to everyone’s uniforms and protect them individually.

This way they didn’t have to worry about someone going out of range, or being separated like had happened already. With the design figured out and the pieces spread before him all Tim had left to do was put them together. As he’d worked the desk had grown more and more empty of parts until he’d finished all but the last one.

The cave was quiet aside from the odd rustle of hay from Batcow and the flutter of batwings above. He should have taken a break when Bruce had but he hadn’t wanted to rest his mind. He still didn’t. He wasn’t putting anything off or trying _not_ to think. He certainly wasn’t trying to keep himself from thinking about the old memories Mindbender had dug up. Or the thought that his whole family had been forced to face things better left buried. Or the idea that Mindbender had more of an interest in Damian than just his factual knowledge.

Tim had seen the way Mindbender looked at Damian. From that look alone Tim knew Mindbender was more interested in Damian’s memories for their emotional value rather than informational. He enjoyed, no fed off, the pain in them. Why else would he do everything he’d done?

His stomach flipped, not because of an overindulgence of coffee, but from the anger burning there. _Sick_ , that’s what Mindbender was, and he was after Tim’s family. After Tim’s little brother. Well he’d fix that. These sonic devices would keep him from getting into his family’s heads. He glanced at the larger device already finished on the table, that would keep him from getting into anyone else’s.

Hot flashed on the edge of his palm and he yelped dropping the soldering iron he’d been working with. His hand had unconsciously moved from the wires he was working on, sliding over as he’d been thinking. Stupid distracting thoughts. He shoved his hand towards his mouth to cool the burning sensation.

“I don’t believe that’s proper medical procedure for a burn, Master Timothy.” Tim’s hand flew away from his face and he scooted his chair back in surprise.

“Alfred. How long have you been down here?” Tim asked.

The older man frowned at him. “Long enough to know you need a break. Let me take a look at your hand and then head upstairs. Master Bruce wishes to speak with you and the others in his study.”

Tim stood casting a glance at his work on the table. Any thoughts of sneaking back down after the meeting were squashed when Alfred continued. “And if I see you back down here before you’ve had at least four hours of sleep I will not feel an ounce of regret as I drug your coffee.”

Tim couldn’t help but laugh as he let Alfred lead him to the med bay. “You know me too well.” He said leaning against one of the gurneys.

Alfred tossed him a wry smile as he dug burn cream out of a drawer. “That does tend to happen when you help raise someone.” He stepped over to Tim and put the cream on before wrapping his palm in a bit of gauze.

When he was done Tim smiled at him. “Thank you.” He left off ‘for everything’ but Alfred seemed to catch that too as his eyes crinkled in a warm smile.

“A pleasure as always. Now hurry on, you don’t want to hold up the meeting too long.”

* * *

Tim slipped into Bruce’s office to find Jason lounging on the room’s couch and Dick leaning against one of the walls. Bruce was flipping through a stack of papers on his desk looking better rested than Tim had seen him last. Had he had a chance to take a nap? That simple word made Tim’s eyes itch with lack of sleep. When had he slept last?

“Where’s the Demon Spawn?” he asked.

“Damian is sleeping.” Bruce said not looking up from his paper. “And we will be done with this meeting before he wakes up.”

Tim narrowed his eyes at Bruce. He understood where he was coming from, but to keep Damian out of any Mindbender planning (because that’s surely what this was) was silly. Bruce had to know his youngest wouldn’t stand for it, neither would he allow himself to be left out.

He crossed his arms. “You don’t want him hearing the plans? You do know he’ll insist on coming. He always insists on coming, if he doesn’t he sneaks out.”

“You’re preaching to the choir Timmy. We’ve already tried that one.” Jason said pulling himself up on the couch to make room and patting one of the now empty cushions. “Take a seat by me or brood next to Dick, B’s not moving on this one.”

Tim frowned but plopped down next to Jason anyway. Both his brothers looked rested. Had he been the only one not to sleep at all? Not that it wasn’t unusual for him to win the ‘slept the least during a case’ trophy. He wondered how they’d managed it.

Damian he could understand. Jason had caught him up on what Mindbender had done. Tim still couldn’t shake the memories MB had dragged to the surface of his mind, to have a whole series done and then get stuck that way? Needless to say he’d be sleeping it off too.

Dick and Jason had only been dealt about as much as Tim had, so what had them so rested? He wanted to ask and he didn’t. This wasn’t the place for it anyway he decided as Bruce tapped the pile of papers neat and set it down.

“We’ve managed to seal off the compromised entrance to the cave.” Bruce started. “From what we gathered at Mindbender’s hideout there is nothing to indicate he has a solid location on any of the other entrances. Which means we have time.”

That’s why Bruce seemed rested. Tim remembered Bruce working on the cave, remembered helping him. Had that been tonight? Or was it morning now? The light illuminating the study’s window confirmed the change of day to Tim. He really should have taken a break at some point.

“Time?” Dick asked. “Time for what?”

“To plan.” Tim answered for Bruce. “Mindbender might still know incriminating information. Even if he doesn’t, he’s got his eyes on Damian and I don’t know about you but I don’t want Damian in his crosshairs for long.”

He glanced at Dick and Jason, both had tensed at his statement. They could replace anyone with Damian and the tension would have risen, but to see Damian in a vulnerable position? That raised things even more. Tim hadn’t managed to reconcile himself with the idea and he’d seen it in action. It was too strange. Damian was too independent and hard headed to be in the situation he was.

Bruce nodded. “Tim’s fixed his sonic device to work on an individual basis. Each of you will get one of your own. That way we can focus on Mindbender and not worry about him hitting us with another mental blast or going after us one at a time.”

“Makes sense. That what you’ve been working on since we got back Timmers?” Dick asked.

Tim nodded. “I’m almost done with them all. Just one left.”

Bruce nodded and continued. “From the documents we collected today I have an idea of where to find Mindbender next. But we’ll have to move soon.”

“How soon are we talking?” Jason asked.

“Tonight.” Bruce lifted the top sheet from his stack and handed it over the table to Tim.

He looked over the sheet, it was a list of different odd places. One of them was the apartment they’d found. “These are all the places he might be?”

“They’re all places he likes.” Bruce confirmed. “Referenced multiple times in his papers. The apartment was referenced the most. The list is in descending order.”  

Dick held up a hand. “Hold on. I’m not a hundred percent clear on why we’re going tonight. Everyone’s exhausted. I don’t think any of us have stopped for long since this whole thing started. Don’t you think we might need to slow down? Plan a little more?”

Bruce shook his head. “We have no idea how long Mindbender will stay at any of those places with us after him.” He waved his hand at the list. “Besides, Tim was right. I don’t want him after any of you longer than possible. There’s too much inside each of your heads. It won’t do to have him fixate on us.”

“Too much.” Jason straightened from where he’d been leaning back into the couch. “That’s your excuse? So, Damian is just valuable information now? Come on Bruce. Can’t you admit your worried about him?”

Bruce clenched his jaw. “That’s not what I said.”

It wasn’t and Tim knew that at some level Jason knew that. Out of everyone Jason had grown closest to Damian over the past few days so the kid was a tender subject for him right now. Tim couldn’t say he wasn’t a little jealous of how quickly Jason had stepped into Dick’s role and taken Damian under his wing. Before this they hardly spoke. Tim was the one who had reached out to Jason, who’d been working for months to get his brother just to join them on patrol.

Tim let the paper drop into his lap and rubbed his eyes, he was _tired_. Being this tired put his nerves on edge. He didn’t need to be getting mad at Jason for protecting Damian. What he needed was some coffee. Why hadn’t he grabbed a cup on the way up?

“Jay. Seriously? Now is not the time to get petty. You know Bruce cares.” Tim said. He either needed to get back to work or go to bed. The looming idea of memories and nightmares made him lean towards work. Alfred could drug his coffee all he wanted. Tim would just make his own cup.

Jason sat back, raising an eyebrow at Tim. “Someone’s cranky.”

Tim grit his teeth. He knew that. He didn’t need Jason to tell him. Be the bigger man. Keep the conversation moving. Get back to work. “What else, Bruce?” He asked.

Bruce didn’t answer right away. He’d turned his attention to Tim eyeing him like he was trying to decide how to word his next sentence. “When’s the last time you slept, Tim?”

“Does it matter?” Tim asked. “We’ve been busy, and I’ve been working. If you really want to go tonight I have to get back to work. So, I’ll ask again. What’s next?”

Bruce’s eyes narrowed at him. “Next you go to bed. You already know most of the plan. I can finish without you.”

 Tim crossed his arms. “And the sonic devices?”

“Someone else can finish them.” Bruce said.

He didn’t want to sleep. Already the thought was dredging up images he’d rather avoid. All the people he’d lost were like phantoms around him. Half of them were in this room. “No one else can finish them. You might have helped, but I know them in and out. If we want to make sure they work I need to be the one to put them together.” He stood, jerking the couch back with his force, starting everyone.

“Then finish them after you’ve slept. In your state you could just as much ruin them as make them work.” Bruce snapped.

“I need the work Bruce. I’m going, like it or not.” He turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. Anger and adrenaline mixing with the lack of sleep in his system. He knew he wasn’t thinking straight. He knew Bruce was right. But he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t face the solitude of his own mind right now.

“Tim.” Bruce’s voice stopped him halfway down the hall. He’d been expecting Jason or Dick, anyone but Bruce.

He turned to face his adopted father. Closer he could see the bags under Bruce’s eyes. Maybe he hadn’t slept. He could have just taken a break. “What?”

“Are you alright?” Bruce’s tone was softer now that it was the two of them.

“I’m fine.” Tim said.

Bruce’s mouth quirked up in an almost smile that said he didn’t believe the poor answer Tim had just given him. “I’m sorry.” He said. “I shouldn’t have barked at you. You’ve worked so hard today. Have you talked to anyone about what happened with Mindbender earlier?”

Tim’s irritation had faded a little with Bruce’s arrival, but he wasn’t ready to give it up. He’d had no outlet all day and wanted to lash out. “Have you?” He shot back.

He frowned. “Alfred made me.”

This surprised Tim. Bruce didn’t open up. What had he seen? All the death’s Tim had relived flashed through his mind again and he was sure Bruce must have had a similar experience. “I don’t want to talk about it. But—” He paused not sure he wanted to continue.

The silent patience from Bruce was worth more than his words might have. It convinced Tim to keep going. “I keep working so I don’t have to think about it. Please Bruce. Let me work.”

Bruce took a step forward and put a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “I can understand not wanting to talk about it. But you need to rest. You’ve gotten the least out of all of us. If you want to help, you could check in on Damian.”

“I thought he was sleeping?” Tim wasn’t comprehending Bruce’s request.

Bruce nodded. “He is. Alfred said he had to pry both Dick and Jason away from him to get them to the meeting. They’re worried about him waking up alone.”

Tim paused for a moment and nodded. “Alright. I can do that.”

* * *

Damian woke to a back pressing against his own. He shifted, craning his head until he saw dark floppy hair and the tight shoulders that could only belong to Tim. A few seconds’ pause told Damian that his brother was awake. His breathing wasn’t as even as it tended to be in sleep.

He turned back to face away from Tim. “Did you draw the babysitting card?”

Tim didn’t move behind him. “Dick and Jason were worried about you.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Damian said.

“No. I didn’t. I drew the you haven’t slept in forty- eight hours and if you don’t do something restful Alfred will drug you card.”

“Oh.” Damian didn’t have to hide his grin since Tim couldn’t see it. “Your usual hand then.”

“Shut up, Demon Spawn.”

“You first, Drake.”

Now Tim shifted behind him. Damian could feel him rolling over and sighed. He knew a moment later Tim would want to speak face to face so he followed his brother’s movements until they lay facing each other on the bed. Damian tucked under the covers, Tim laying on top of them, like he hadn’t been willing to commit to sleeping but was considering it.

“You look terrible.” Damian told him getting a good look at his brothers more than usually pale face. It was washed out with exhaustion, the only color the deep crescents under his eyes. “Grayson would say your bags have bags.”

Tim grinned. “Or that they’re designer. Depending on his mood.”

Damian shrugged, knocking the comforter further from his shoulder. “Forty-eight hours doesn’t usually give you bags.”

Tim sighed. “Forty-eight of the hours we’ve had would give anyone bags, even me.”

Damian knew what was bothering Tim. It was the same thing still digging at him. And the same thing digging at his family. Memories. Old, hard, feeling fresher than when they’d happened. He also knew Tim would admit it as soon as Damian would.

“Bruce wants to leave you here when he goes after Mindbender.” Tim said.

It was a stalling tactic. One that Tim was usually good at. Damian knew this. He knew his brother could push his buttons like no other, and always get a rile out of him. At least Drake could when he wasn’t terrified of facing his own mind. “I’d guessed as much. Why do you care? You were opposed earlier.”

Now Tim shrugged. “I thought you’d want to know.”

They were both silent for a moment before Damian spoke again. “I’m cold.”

“So?” Tim raised an eyebrow.

“So if you’re going to be here be useful. Share body heat.” Damian pushed his part of the comforter back as if the act could convince Tim to give in and sleep.

His brother didn’t even hesitate. He worked his way under the covers, but didn’t move further than that. Damian rolled his eyes and scooted forward, curling into Tim. To his credit, Drake didn’t jump away, he lay frozen for a second, probably wondering what Damian was up to, before his body relaxed. He didn’t curl around Damian the way he was used to Grayson doing, he just relaxed and let Damian do the comforting this time.

“I’m going to sleep now. You’ll be bored if you don’t try to do the same.” Damian told him.

For all the sleep he’d gotten, the warmth of the bed, and comfort of having a brother close by was already lulling him back into unconsciousness. Stress exhausted someone, and Damian had dealt with his fair share of it lately. He could afford the extra rest for once.

“I made five.” Tim said his voice breaking the quite.

“Five?” Damian asked.

“Well I’m working on the fifth one.”

“Either tell me, Drake, or go to sleep.” Damian grumbled. If Tim was rambling he was going to regret inviting him to try to sleep.

“I mean, Batbrat, I made a sonic device for you.” Tim yawned. His eyes had started to drift closed. “I figured you’d want to be there. For the fight and to get MB. I’ll tell Bruce the same when I have a brain.” He grew more sluggish with every word until brain came out sounding like bran.

Damian snuggled closer to him. “Thanks.” He murmured.


	12. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The fight with Mindbender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks so much for sticking with me through this fic. After this chapter there will be one more and then it's done. I'm so thankful to everyone who has read and enjoyed it. You guys are literally the best. I hope you enjoy this and the next chapter.

Damian wasn’t supposed to be there. He’d told Father and his brother’s that he’d stay behind. ‘To stay safe.’ He’d said them. He’d seen Father’s face and knew that no matter what Drake tried to argue to convince Father to let him come that there would be no moving on the subject. So, he’d given in, made it seem sincere, cited his head injury, and promised to check in with Alfred every hour.

Then he’d drugged Pennyworth’s tea and snuck out, following his family as they bounced from probable hiding place to hiding place until they’d reached the museum. Damian could have told them Mindbender would have picked the old museum to hole up in. What other place was so filled with memories than a building that held the history of people?

The sound of fighting drifted up from below him, as Damian slipped in one of the building’s skylights.  From his spot he caught sight of a group of men fighting with his family. Figures dressed similarly to Mindbender ducked between the museums exhibits. Mindbender was hard to spot in the mess of copycats. At last Damian caught sight of him fighting with Nightwing. He checked the blocking pin Drake had left for him, making sure it was turned on then jumped into the fray.

He pushed his way through men and exhibits, noting that the exhibit was some kind of ancient war supply exhibit filled with armor, shields, and weapons. They clattered around him as he shoved over a pedestal displaying old chipped knives. He was a second too slow making it to Nightwing to stop his brother from taking a hit to the head and dropping like a rock to the ground. He spared a glance to make sure Grayson’s chest was moving before he took over the fight.

“I was wondering when you’d show up.” Mindbender said.

Damian let himself grin. “Be careful what you wish for.”

He’d learned from his last fight with the man and worked to keep his moves mixed up, using things Grayson, Todd, and even Drake would instead of his standard style. Mindbender, for his part, had taken up Damian’s own moves against him.

He ducked a blow that was painfully familiar and shot a glance at Grayson checking on him. His brother had started to stir, a hand on his head. A good sign, if he’d been unconscious any longer Damian would have had something else to worry about.

He returned his full attention on Mindbender spinning a kick he’d learned from Todd at him before swiping his legs from under him. The sounds of the rest of his family fighting drifted into his focus for a moment. From behind him Grayson groaned as Mindbender stood coming at him again.

Damian’s attention was split between them and he pulled back a little too slowly away from a second attack. The blow hit him in the gut, knocking the air from his lungs. He hadn’t taken in a full breath when Mindbender grabbed him by the arm and yanked him forward.

He tried to pull away as Mindbender grabbed the blocking pin on his uniform, tearing it and some of the red underneath away before smashing it underfoot. He didn’t have time to curse before his mind started to fog up.

“No playing this time.” Mindbender’s tone was almost apologetic as Damian’s brain felt like it was being lifted from his head, hands pressing into it with uncaring urgency. “They're coming for me and I need that information.”

Damian tried to get his body to work, Mindbender hadn't dropped him into a memory yet. Instead he was rifling through Damian's head like one flipped pages in a book. Flashes of memory blinded him, but he could see through them, like trees flashing by in a car ride. It was dizzying and Damian felt his stomach lurch as they stopped.

"What's this one?"

It was Mother on the boat with Damian asking him to choose between her and Father. Damian hasn't wanted to choose. He never did. Would he always be forced to choose between both parts of his family? Was his hope for reconciliation always going to be smashed?

"Your mother?" Mindbender hummed lingering on the memory. "Well, I'm sorry for that. It does explain a lot. Unfortunately that doesn’t include the location of her hide out. Next."

Damian struggled as best as he could, but his muscles were like jelly against the pain in his head. He could flail but there was little force in his blows. Where was his family? Being held back still? Mindbender flipped through memories pausing every so often on ones of Damian’s mother.

He found himself stepping through time, there he was in the days before Father disappeared working with Mother, then he was with Grayson just after their fight with Flamingo, his back shattered from the fight. The next stop was mother sending him home, the memories paused for a moment and Damian hoped that it would stop there. Stop at this hideout.

“I can’t. It’s not where they’re at right now. False information would only get me killed.” Damian grit his teeth against the answer that was partially in his mind and partially spoken. He should have known, Mindbender was in his head, not just his memories.

Rapid fire they moved through his memories now, the clone incident, Slade, Father returning, on and on they went until everything jerked to a stop. Damian's heart jolted. Not this. Anything but this. Mindbender had stopped on his mother again, high in Wayne Tower controlling her men from above. Damian fighting alongside Grayson.

"What's this?" The curiosity in Mindbender’s voice was maddening. Damian knew there was nothing he could do to quench it. No memory more enticing than the one before them. He could offer up the names and locations of his mother, grandfather, and the League and Mindbender wouldn’t budge. He doubled his efforts against the man holding him. Jerking as best as he could against the iron grip.

He didn't want Mindbender to go further. Didn't want him to know the next part. The inevitable ending to this memory and all others for so long. Unfortunately, it seemed the man could tell. The grip on his arms tightened with excitement.

"Is this what I think it is? Could it be possible that you’ve died?" The voice was filled with wonder. "Everything else can wait. When else will I have this opportunity?"

Damian started screaming, not from pain or from the memory but out of desperation. It was a childish reaction, like a baby. But it was the only defensive mechanism he had left. His struggles were useless, he couldn’t break free. His only hope right now was someone stopping Mindbender. He never screamed, not like this. It had to be enough to spark urgency in his family.

His scream was cut off as Mindbender pulled the memory firmly into view, Damian lost track of everything around him the dark room warping to brightly lit, the battle around him staying oddly familiar, their surroundings debris and fire. There was nothing Damian could do to stop the reel of events. He and Grayson charging into battle. Heretic throwing his brother out of the way, Damian’s fury at the attack. Then he was back against the wall, and he knew what would happen next. Instead of Heretic rising above him, weapon ready Damian found himself falling to the ground, the world righting itself to the museum his heart somewhere between terrified and stopped.

The impact knocked the breath from him and his vision spun with the release of his mind from Mindbender's hold. Relief took hold, slowing his heartbeat, as he realized that one of his brothers or Father had reached him. Someone had stopped Mindbender, stopped the memories, stopped his death.

Then Mindbender came into focus, standing over him, his face split with a smile. "I can't just see it." He said. “You understand that right?”

Damian had stopped paying attention to the words coming out of Mindbender’s mouth. The man had taken hold of one of the swords on display and had raised it above Damian. His heartbeat jumped back into the race it had just ended and Damian found that he couldn’t move. Not because of pain in his head or anything else Mindbender might have done. No, it was cold terror that iced his muscles now. The scene was too similar. Too raw. Too real. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. He didn’t need to be in the memory to know what he was feeling was the same as it had been then.

"I have to experience it." Mindbender warped into Heretic then, first his face then his body and the chipped sword he held above Damian became sharp and familiar.

"Call him off at once." The words slipped out even as he knew they wouldn’t be heard. "Mother." It was a last ditch effort, a final plea.

He couldn't move. Couldn't escape. Something in him knew it was a memory but that something also knew it was reality. He was going to die in front of his family again. He was going to leave them behind for the second time. What was worse was that Grayson didn’t even know him, didn’t know what any of this meant. He, at least, would only be losing Damian for the first time again. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much that way.

* * *

Damian wasn’t supposed to be there. Dick should have known this would happen. Jason who was fighting close do him didn’t seem surprised by Damian’s appearance. Dick shouldn’t be surprised either, his gut had told him the moment they’d left that the kid was going to come either way.

All the same panic bloomed in his chest at seeing his youngest brother fight his way towards him. Damian didn’t need to be here, didn’t need to be trying to get close to Mindbender. He needed to be safe, tucked away with Alfred, hidden from the man who would snatch him in an instant if he had the chance.

Dick ducked a blow from Mindbender and threw a punch his way, remembering Damian’s advice to try and keep his fighting random. His brother had learned the hard way that Mindbender learned their moves, and had warned them all before they left.

Even with the warning the fight was proving to be hard. Dick was practically fighting himself, Mindbender’s moves were a mirror of what he’d do and it was getting harder to block the more worried he was for Damian. He couldn’t help but keep glancing his brother’s way, and that’s when stars sparked in Dick’s vision and he hit the ground.

He was only out for a few seconds, but it was long enough for everything to go wrong. He sat up, head spinning to find Mindbender clutching Damian, sparks from Damian’s blocking device at their feet. Then Dick was surrounded. He swore as he jumped to his feet. If they hadn’t been in such a rush the night before Mindbender wouldn’t have upped his security.

Jason was by his side moments later. “Thought I’d come make sure you didn’t get yourself killed.”

“You should be trying to help Damian.” Dick said pressing his back against Jason’s as they fought.

He caught glimpses of his brother and Mindbender through the men, every glimpse further from his brother as if the men they were fighting were hearing Dick and Jason away from Mindbender. Damian was fighting, but Dick wanted to get there all the same. He cast a glance around the room trying to spot Bruce or Tim. Both were halfway across the room, dealing with their own problems.

“We’ll get there faster together.” Jason told him.

The two of them worked their way through the group as fast as they could, thinning the men until there were two remaining between them and Mindbender. Damian started to scream. Not a scream of pain, but panic and Dick felt something in him break. No one should ever do that to his brother, any of them. He couldn’t see Jason’s face but the tension between them told him Jay was feeling the same way.

They were so far from Mindbender and Damian now. As the last two men fell so did Damian, the boy’s cry cutting off to leave silence. Then Mindbender had a sword in his hand and both Dick and Jason were running.

Dick’s entire being filled with panic. He couldn’t be late this time. He couldn’t fail Damian. Not again, not like this. The sword came down and Dick’s head exploded with a memory that had nothing to do with Mindbender, and everything to do with Damian. He saw his brother broken, lying on the ground, his face covered by his cape, chest torn open. Regret. Grief. Anger. They hit him like a tidal wave.

Dick dove forward, ignoring Mindbender. Jason would take care of him. He knew it like he knew how to breathe. Even if he didn’t, nothing would stop him from going to Damian. Then he was by his brother, the sword being flung somewhere off beside him.

There was blood, where was it coming from? In his panic Dick couldn’t tell. He had to breathe. He closed his eyes and opened them, finally noting Damian’s arm. The pressure in his chest released as his hand brushed the gash there. He’d have to take care of that, but for now all he could think was that Mindbender had missed. Somehow, miraculously, he’d missed.

“Damian. Look at me, kiddo.” Dick said helping his brother sit up. Damian was like lead in his arms, his breath slow and shallow, like he’d fallen into an exhausted sleep, but his eyes were open. Dick’s own breath caught as he focused on his brother’s face. Damian wasn’t looking at anything, his eyes a vacant expression, like Jason had described them being when he’d been stuck in his memories.

“Hood. I need Mindbender, I need him to—” Dick broke off as he turned to find Jason cuffing Mindbender’s wrists behind his back, the other man unconscious.

Dick swore, and Jason looked up at him. “Tell me Damian’s ok.”

“Kind of.” Dick said, he had no idea how to describe what was going on. He had no idea how to fix it with Mindbender unconscious. His being unconscious should have snapped Damian out of the memory. “He’s stuck in a memory.” Dick had turned back to Damian. He couldn’t take the blank stare, he shook Damian a little and nothing happened.

“Come on Dami. Snap out of it. Please.” Dick said pressing a hand to his brother’s cheek. Not even a blink in response. Dick was starting to panic. Jason had said he’d gotten Damian out of this memory thing pretty fast the last time it happened. This was not fast. There was no change, it was like Damian was dead. Not dead, but like he thought he was.

Clarity hit Dick then. The memory ended with death for Damian. As terrible as it was to even consider, that had to be it. There’d been nothing to take Damian out of it, no time for Mindbender to pull away. Guilt turned Dick’s stomach. This was his fault. If he’d been faster, or maybe slower, anything other than his own timing maybe Damian wouldn’t have had to go through that, _be_ going through that, again.

He swallowed the panic and took in a breath. “Damian, listen to me.” He leaned forward to make his eyes level with Damian’s. “You’re ok, you’re not dead. Not even really hurt.” Dick lifted one of Damian’s hands and pressed it against his brother’s chest. “See, no wound.”

He moved the hand up to Damian’s heart and pressed it there. “And look, feel that? That’s your heartbeat.” Damian’s gaze hadn’t changed, but his breath had started to speed up, to something more normal. Dick took it as a good sign.

He took Damian’s other hand in his free one and pressed it against his own heart. “Feel that, Little D? That’s my heart. It’s beating pretty fast because I’m scared for you, but it’s beating. Both our hearts are beating.”

There was a second when Dick didn’t think it was going to work then his brother blinked, his breath hitched, and tears started slipping down his face.

“Grayson?” It was shaky, uncertain, like Damian thought he was in a dream.

Dick’s face lit up with a smile. “I’m right here, Dami.” He said, and pulled his brother into him. “I’m here, you’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you, ok? Not Mindbender or your mom, or the Heretic. I won’t let them.” He said the words, face pressed into Damian’s hair, arms holding as tightly as he dared.

Damian nodded into his chest and wrapped his arms around Dick’s torso curling closer for a moment before he pulled away to frown up at him. His clear eyes made Dick want to smile again, but the frown meant smiles might have to wait.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“You said Heretic?” His voice was still quiet but it was gaining energy.

“Yeah.” Dick affirmed. “I remembered more. When Mindbender attacked you.” He grimaced then shook his head. “Not every specific memory, but I remember you. I—” He paused. “I know you, probably better than I know myself.”

He did. He knew he was still missing specific memories, there were blank spots in his mind waiting to be filled, but the boy in his arms was as familiar to him as any of his siblings. If asked he could list of Damian’s favorite books, foods, even his favorite paper weight to draw on. He wasn’t sure how to prove it to Damian, so he just hugged him tighter, tugging again for emphasis.

Damian returned the hug, arms almost as tight as Dick’s. “Good.” He said and Dick could hear the attempt to keep tears out in his voice. “That’s good.”


	13. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part in the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I want to thank you all so much for reading this fic. When I first started it all I had was an idea I wanted to flesh out. Losing You became so much more, and I learned so much while writing it. Thank you all for your comments and kudos they've meant so much to me, and I've read them all many many times over. 
> 
> I'm so thankful you all came with me on this journey and I hope this ending is everything you hoped for, I know it is for me.

From the moment Dick assured the others that Damian was fine, to the point where they’d finished taking care of the goons Damian stayed tucked in Dick’s arms. After an initial squabble including many ‘Put me downs’ and one snapped ‘Not a baby!’ Damian gave up arguing with his brother. All it took was a watery look and ‘please’ from Grayson. If it made Dick happy he’d allow it, at least until he got home.

He wasn’t counting on having to endure Todd’s shoulder squeeze, or Drake’s smile, or even Father pressing a quick kiss to his forehead. Even if he was pleased with the attention, they were still in uniform. Who knew when one of the men would regain consciousness and see him being coddled. All the fussing over him could wait.

He watched his family finish securing Mindbender and his men as Dick set him down on an empty pedestal to look at his arm.

“It’s fine.” Damian said. He crossed his arms, ignoring the pinching in his arm as he did so.

Dick was busy preparing a bandage. “Do you have any tape?” He asked, ignoring Damian’s protest.

The look on Dick’s face, and his lack of a rebuttal told Damian he might as well let Grayson get his mother-henning over with, it would happen whether he wanted it to or not. He dug a bit of medical tape from his belt. He handed it over with the barest of scowls.

“Thanks.” Dick grinned.

While Grayson wrapped his arm, Damian worked on ways of convincing Grayson to pick him back up when he was done. He wouldn’t ask outright, that would make him look weak. He hardly wanted to accept the fact that he wanted the comfort.

From the moment he’d been set down he felt naked, bare, alone, even with a room full of people. His stomach was cold like a pit, as if fear rested there. He assumed it was the lack of Dick’s body heat close to him, but the cold rested in his stomach alone. Damian refused to admit it was fear, but he could accept that he was still shaky, his hands trembled even as he pressed them to the sides of the pedestal for balance.

All his planning went out the window the moment Dick finished wrapping his arm. Before he could speak a word he was lifted into Dick’s arms. The warmth and easing of the tension in his stomach was enough to confirm he had been scared. Of what Damian didn’t care to think about. Instead he scowled.

“I can walk.”

“I know,” Dick said. “But I can’t find it in me to let you go yet. I just got you back.”

The meaning behind his words was twofold. He’d watched as Damian had almost died again, at the same time a large percentage of his memories had returned. He hadn’t questioned Grayson fully yet, but Damian was sure of the memories. He could tell, from the way Grayson held him to the look on his face every time Damian looked at it. Grayson knew him, even if he didn’t remember everything.

“Tt. Fine, but only because I don’t want you to worry.” He wrapped his arms around Dick’s neck and peered over his shoulder.

Father was handing Drake something, Damian couldn’t see what. He wasn’t entirely sure he cared at this point, things were almost wrapped up. Gordon was on his way, Drake and Todd had collected anything they could find that might hold their secret identities, and Grayson had called his friend Tiger to step in and ensure Mindbender would forget any identities he’d figured out. The irony of taking away Mindbender’s memories was not lost on Damian, he only wished he was in a better mood to enjoy it.

There was little left for Damian to worry about, so he let himself rest in Grayson’s arms. His shaking had stopped and the cold pit in his stomach had gone. He felt almost back to normal, or as normal as he’d feel for a while.

“You’re only relaxed because you think you are safe.” The words were groggy, from the throat of one waking. Damian’s attention snapped to Mindbender, leaned against a display case a few feet away from him. He was grinning at Damian, a hungry look in his eyes that made the sick feeling come roaring back.

He glared at him pushing back his own irrational fear that had returned at the man’s waking. He had nothing to be afraid of. Mindbender’s powers were suppressed thanks to Drake, and he was contained, soon to forget all of them. There was no way he could be of any threat to Damian.

“I didn’t get to finish the memory, if you’d let me back in your head—” He was cut off as Jason stepped in front of him, arms crossed as he looked down at the man.

Grayson had turned around, making it so Damian couldn’t see. He pulled away and turned, arching his neck to look down at the criminal. He would not let himself be intimidated by this man. A scathing reply was on his lips when Jason spoke up.

“That’s enough.”

Mindbender’s attention turned to him. His face went from predatory to pleading, eyes going wide, lip pulling in. “If you’d just let me see his memories, finish that one. I’d be happy. Done with you all. What else could a man ask for but to see death? To know its inne—” His words broke off as in one swift motion Jason leaned down and knocked him out.

“No one needs to know what death is like until it comes for them.” His voice was quiet as he said the words, kneeling by Mindbender. Then he was standing again as Bruce eyed him from the other side of the room.

“Hood.” It was a warning word.

“I did us all a favor.” Jason shrugged. “He was bothering the kid, and me. You’re lucky I only knocked him out.”

There was another warning in Bruce’s look but he didn’t voice it. The feeling in the room told Damian they were all thinking the same thing he was. Mindbender deserved a lot more than a stunning blow.

* * *

Damian was rarely alone for the next week. Grayson was by his side most often. Insisting that he was trying to make up for lost time. Damian had reminded him he’d only forgotten for a few days.

“Lost time is lost time, Dami. And I’m going to do my best to fix that.”

In the few spare moments away from Dick, and even during some with him, Damian found himself in the company of Drake or Todd. He wasn’t surprised by Jason’s insistence on reading with him, they did have a book to finish after all. It was Tim that surprised him.

He’d been sitting in the living room, trying to keep himself awake by sketching Titus sleeping when Tim had plopped onto the couch beside him. Damian glanced at his phone and read the time at past one in the morning. He’d been off patrol for the week. Father wasn’t happy with his sneaking off, but Drake didn't seem to be angry about it. When Damian had asked why, he'd shrugged and told him he'd figured it would happen, and that was that.

Damian was getting the idea that his siblings were taking turns keeping him company. So far both Dick and Jason had chosen different nights to stay back from patrol. Their reasons were as false as the cough Dick tried to use the first night. It made sense that Tim would eventually draw the short straw, but Damian didn’t mind. He wouldn’t say it, but he enjoyed the company.  

He hadn’t been sleeping very well. Nightmares of his death, and of all the memories Mindbender had dredged up haunted him at night. Even during the day he couldn’t get away from them. Every time he closed his eyes he could see his death again, coming for him like an inescapable force. Sometimes it was Mindbender holding the sword, others the Heratic, and sometimes it was a combination of both. More than anything, it was always worse when he was alone.

It was making him irritable, and he knew his family could tell. Even Pennyworth had been more gentle in his reprimands of late. Damian himself had been trying not to snap at his family or stalk off in a fit of emotions. He was aware of it, and thus didn’t need to act on it, but it was proving difficult. He didn’t want to rest on the excuse that he’d ‘been through a lot lately’. Everyone had, and they were handling it far better than he was, he should be able to do the same.

“Do not jostle me, Drake.” He said, as he shifted so Tim had more room on the couch. He’d been sprawled out over the cushions and now pulled his feet closer to him, it helped him see his sketchbook better anyway.

“Jostle really? This late at night? Just say don’t knock my sketchbook out of the way, or better yet, threaten me.” Tim said, tiredly as he took hold of the remote. He turned the TV on and leaned back into the cushions.

“Don’t knock my sketchbook, then. And keep the volume down on that thing. I am trying to focus.” Damian said. He adjusted himself again so that instead of facing Tim he was sitting next to him now.

The noise of the cooking show Tim had put on lowered before his brother responded. “Better?”

“Yes.”

They sat together in comfortable silence, Tim watching terrible cooks learn how to be better, while Damian finished sketching his dog. He’d moved on to outlining his brother’s profile when Tim spoke up.

“You doing ok? With you know- everything?” It was tentative, as if he was dreading the reaction he’d get, but had needed to ask anyway. He hadn’t looked away from the screen, but Damian noted that the volume had gone down further.

It was the first time anyone had asked Damian how he was doing. It wasn’t that his family didn’t care, they simply had been trying to get him back to normal. Even Grayson had danced around the subject, trying instead to fix things with distractions. Damian wasn’t sure what to say. He should be angry, should brush off his brother’s worry with scorn.

“I don’t know.” He said instead, keeping his own eyes on the paper, Tim’s hazy outline staring back.

Tim nodded, still looking at the screen in front of him. “That’s alright. I mean, it’s not alright, but it is. You can not know and be ok. And if you want to talk I’m here.”

“Drake.” Damian said looking up at last. His brother locked eyes with him, whatever next words he had drying up at Damian’s interruption. “Thank you.”

Tim rubbed the back of his head. “No problem.”

They went back to silence for a few minutes before Damian spoke back up. “I don’t know if I want to talk about it, or what there even is to talk about. Everyone saw what happened.”

Tim stayed silent as Damian tried to find the next words. “You all know what Mindbender’s powers were like, so I don’t have to explain that. But I don’t know if you feel the same way I do. I don’t know if I know how I feel.”

Damian rolled his pencil between his fingers as he collected his words. His heart was beating and his chest hurt, but in a good way. Like he was releasing pressure that had built up there. Grayson always told him it was good to talk, but Grayson talked about everything so Damian hadn’t put much thought into his brother’s words then, now he was re-thinking them.

“I am unsettled.” He said and stopped. “Or nervous. It’s frustrating either way, because I shouldn’t be. Mindbender is gone, and Grayson is fine.” Damian set the pencil down and looked at his own hands. “It’s irrational for me to feel this way after something so trivial. I died and came back, and handled that fine. It is reasonable to expect I could relive that death and handle it just as well.”

He looked up at Tim who’d scooted closer while he’d been talking. “Is it foolish to think that something is wrong with me?”

“Damian, nothing is wrong with you.” Tim said, and Damian couldn’t help but imagine him tagging on something smarting, but he didn’t. Instead he took the pencil from Damian’s book and spun it with one hand.

“I told you its ok not to know. It’s also ok to feel frustrated.” Damian opened his mouth to argue and Tim shook his head. “I’m still shaken from my brush with Mindbender, I can’t imagine how upsetting it must be for you. He was in your head, that’s not something you walk away from easily.”

Damian crossed his arms and frowned at him. “I died, Drake. I didn’t walk away from that, even if I came back.”

“You had other things to push you through coming back. Your powers, all the time you’d missed, even dealing with Dick being gone. Right now, your biggest distraction is helping Alfred in the kitchen, or finding Titus when he wanders off.” Tim shook his head. “I’m not saying this is worse, I’m just saying you have more time to dwell on it right now. I do promise it’ll get better.”

“Tt.” Damian said, but he found himself trusting Tim. His words made sense, he nodded. “I believe I can accept that reasoning for now.”

They sat together and let the TV run until the cooking channel began showing re-runs of the episode’s it had just played. By that point both boys had fallen asleep, Tim lounged back into the couch, and Damian resting his head on Tim’s shoulder.

* * *

 Damian woke the next morning in a mood good enough that he was willing to accompany Tim to the kitchen. He almost ran into Tim when he stopped right outside the door to the kitchen.

“Drake, what is it?” Damian pushed past him to see Jason chasing Dick with a spatula covered in some kind of batter.

Damian couldn’t decide if he was dreaming or not, as Jason flicked the spatula at Dick. The older man ducked, and the batter flew over him and hit Tim square in the face. Damian clapped his hands over his mouth to stop a snicker.

Both Dick and Jason stopped to look at them. Tim glanced once at Damian before turning to look at his brothers. He wiped a bit of batter off his face and looked at it.

“You hit me with—” He paused and tasted the batter on his fingers. “Pancake mix? Why?” he was tired, his eyes blinking at them as if betrayed.

Dick had the decency to look ashamed. Jason just grinned. “Sorry Timbo. I was aiming for Dick.”

“But he’s not in my direction.”

“I believe.” Damian interjected, with a grin, “That this means war.”

“War?” Dick asked.

“It’s obviously an attack on your quest for coffee.” Damian told Tim, his voice conspiratorial.

Tim nodded as if this made complete sense. Jason who’d realized what he’d started dropped the spatula.

“Wait, Timmy, don’t listen to him. Damian’s goading you on because you’re coffee deprived.”

Tim shook his head. “Damian’s right. You’ve prevented me from getting my morning cup. War is inevitable.”

Dick had started backing away from all three of them, his hand going for the bowl of pancake mix resting on the counter. Damian noticed it and pointed.

“Drake, get Grayson before he makes off with all the ammunition. I will distract Todd.”

With that direction, the kitchen erupted into chaos. Everyone dove in different directions. As Damian found himself caught mid leap by Jason with batter covered hands he couldn’t help but laugh. There surrounded by all his brothers he felt safe for the first time since everything started. They were sure to get in trouble, Pennyworth wouldn’t be pleased to find his kitchen a mess, but Damian didn’t mind, not when everything felt so right.

He squirmed out of Jason’s hold and caught the bowl of batter Drake had thrown him. He scooped out a handful and threw it at Dick who caught it in the face before diving over the island at Damian, a smile breaking through the mess of batter on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this fic. It's been an incredible run, and I hope you stay with me through any other fics I write. For those who want to see more of the Losing You story line, keep an eye out for it's sequel coming soon. In it I'm planning to focus more on Jason and Tim's relationship with Damian and the other Batfam. 
> 
> Thank you again for all the time you put into reading and following this story. 
> 
> Blessings,  
> Dawn <3


End file.
